tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-58829042065009051182024-03-13T21:45:03.092-06:00Music From My HeartAll of the pondering of me.......Lindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14642701364961233975noreply@blogger.comBlogger299125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882904206500905118.post-89635255080266284652017-08-17T07:56:00.001-06:002017-08-17T07:59:26.690-06:00But God<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The past two weeks have been somber for me as I have had two dear friends lose loved ones that were both way too young to die. It has felt like a weight in my soul and I can't imagine how the two families who actually are dealing with grief second by second are feeling.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I've been <i style="font-weight: bold;">trying</i> to get started doing an inductive Bible study in the book of Ephesians but so far I am still in the reading stage of the whole process because I'm just having a hard time getting started. It is something I struggle with for almost every project or important task that I wish to do. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">A couple days ago I was trying to motivate myself to go visit my newly widowed friend, not because I didn't want to go love her, but, because it is a huge thing to go spend time with the bereaved. It is important to just go and BE but sometimes I have trouble with that so I was procrastinating. Earlier that morning I had waded into the pool of Ephesians with trepidation feeling like somehow I wasn't "doing it right". (How can just reading be wrong?) The heading of the chapter I was reading was titled <b>From Death to Life</b>. I kind of thought, "cool, this should have some great stuff for me to ponder". But that would not be what framed my day, really, my whole week.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">There were two words in that chapter that I had previously underlined and those were the words I wanted to remember and to mull around in my heart and in my mind for the rest of the week. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i><b>But God.</b></i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">It looks kind of crazy and wonky just staring at the letters I've just written. The concept, however, is profound and rich and fulfilling. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><i>But God.</i></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">All the things in my life and my dear ones' lives can overwhelm me like a flood.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><i>But God.</i></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">If you are being undone by what you cannot control or just by all that seems to need to be done, remember, God is. He is and His just being in existance is enough for us. But He is so much more.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>"But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love that He had for us, made us alive with the Messiah even though we were dead in trespasses. You are saved by grace! Together with Christ Jesus He also raised us up and seated us in the heavens, so that in the coming ages He might display the immeasurable riches of His grace through His kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For you are saved by grace through faith, and this is not from yourselves; it is God's gift---not from works, so that no one can boast. For we are His creation, created in Christ Jesus for good works which God prepared ahead of time so that we should walk in them."</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><i>Ephesians 2:4-10 </i></b></span></div>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/214/2EBC7D6C3CC4D29737129E6D5BEA1FF4.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0;" /></a>Lindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14642701364961233975noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882904206500905118.post-89387664917430322562017-03-14T12:14:00.001-06:002017-03-14T12:14:54.506-06:00Tailgating for Jesus<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In the past few weeks I've been trying to saturate myself in listening to preaching, teaching and overall just good things. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Today I have been watching some speakers from a worship conference. I feel as though I am passionate about worship. I would like to say that is because I am passionate about Jesus. I WANT to be passionate about Jesus. Sometimes the wanting and the actual passion are not in sync with one another. What is true, is that when I experience a congregation singing together in worship <i style="font-weight: bold;">with passion </i>it thrills my heart. It moves me and makes me feel deep, abiding joy. It doesn't even have to be our congregation. I watched a funeral service for someone I didn't know but whom I knew of and when the congregation sang together a song they knew very well and seemed to love, it moved my heart tremendously.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Now, I realize that worship is not JUST singing. It is whatever we do to give glory to God with our lives. For me, singing is my first language. I've been doing it since as long as I can remember and I can remember being 2 years old. My family drenched my life with music--rich, godly music. We had Christian radio on all day long. Our stereo was filled with gospel music of the day. When we rode in the car--we sang Christian hymns or other songs. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">One of the teachers I heard earlier this week posited "what would it be like if we prepared for worship like we do for a college football game?" In my mind I imagined how cool it would be for us to gather in our church's parking lot for hours before the "service" and spent time hanging out together, eating great food together and anticipating our upcoming time of worship. Then when we came together in the sanctuary we would have formed a bond of genuine fellowship that would seem to be more than just all of us showing up haphazardly and filing in coming from all different mindsets.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Our church has been fortunate in the past couple years to host some amazing Christian concerts. I love to go to them and they are a fantastic experience. As I watch the people coming in and how full the church is for one of these things it makes me sad that we can't seem to fill our churches with that much enthusiasm and with that many people to hear the Word of God. My fear is that we don't get hungry for something for which we have tasted too little.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Today, the stuff I'm listening to is about passing on biblical values for corporate worship to the next generation. I don't think we've done a very good job of this. I want to do it better. Don't get me wrong--I love so much of the contemporary music we do. But I long for the richness in songs that I found in hymns from the biblical values that my parents passed down to me. There are so many great songs full of rich, deep, important theology out there for us to use. Unfortunately, I'm not sure that everyone else loves that as much as I do. We love to sing what we hear on the radio, but many of those do not translate well to congregational singing either in form, singability, or content. I personally feel that too many songs are what I've heard referred to as "boyfriend songs". You know, Jesus is my special friend, I love Him, He's done great things for me and He makes me feel great. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We need more corporate worship that tells us the story of God's great love and mercy along with how He rescued us from His great wrath because of our sin THROUGH His great love and mercy.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The speaker I'm listening to today is using Psalm 78 as a reference:</span><br />
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Psalm 78:1-8 (ESV)</div>
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<h3 class="s1" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: inherit; font-size: 20px; line-height: 1.1; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 20px;">
Tell the Coming Generation</h3>
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A Maskil of Asaph.</h3>
<div class="q1" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;">
<span class="v" id="Ps.78.1" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 10.5px; font-weight: 600; line-height: 0; padding: 0px 3px; position: relative; top: -0.5em; vertical-align: baseline;">1</span>Give ear, O my people, to my teaching;</div>
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incline your ears to the words of my mouth!</div>
<div class="q1" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;">
<span class="v" id="Ps.78.2" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 10.5px; font-weight: 600; line-height: 0; padding: 0px 3px; position: relative; top: -0.5em; vertical-align: baseline;">2</span>I will open my mouth in a parable;</div>
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I will utter dark sayings from of old,</div>
<div class="q1" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;">
<span class="v" id="Ps.78.3" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 10.5px; font-weight: 600; line-height: 0; padding: 0px 3px; position: relative; top: -0.5em; vertical-align: baseline;">3</span>things that we have heard and known,</div>
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that our fathers have told us.</div>
<div class="q1" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;">
<span class="v" id="Ps.78.4" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 10.5px; font-weight: 600; line-height: 0; padding: 0px 3px; position: relative; top: -0.5em; vertical-align: baseline;">4</span>We will not hide them from their children,</div>
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but tell to the coming generation</div>
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the glorious deeds of the <span class="nd" style="box-sizing: border-box; outline: 0px;">Lord</span>, and his might,</div>
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and the wonders that he has done.</div>
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<div class="q1" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;">
<span class="v" id="Ps.78.5" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 10.5px; font-weight: 600; line-height: 0; padding: 0px 3px; position: relative; top: -0.5em; vertical-align: baseline;">5</span>He established a testimony in Jacob</div>
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and appointed a law in Israel,</div>
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which he commanded our fathers</div>
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to teach to their children,</div>
<div class="q1" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;">
<span class="v" id="Ps.78.6" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 10.5px; font-weight: 600; line-height: 0; padding: 0px 3px; position: relative; top: -0.5em; vertical-align: baseline;">6</span>that the next generation might know them,</div>
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the children yet unborn,</div>
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and arise and tell them to their children,</div>
<div class="q2" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;">
<span class="v" id="Ps.78.7" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 10.5px; font-weight: 600; line-height: 0; padding: 0px 3px; position: relative; top: -0.5em; vertical-align: baseline;">7</span>so that they should set their hope in God</div>
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and not forget the works of God,</div>
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but keep his commandments;</div>
<div class="q1" style="box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 10px;">
<span class="v" id="Ps.78.8" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 10.5px; font-weight: 600; line-height: 0; padding: 0px 3px; position: relative; top: -0.5em; vertical-align: baseline;">8</span>and that they should not be like their fathers,</div>
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a stubborn and rebellious generation,</div>
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a generation whose heart was not steadfast,</div>
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whose spirit was not faithful to God.</div>
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Scripture quotations marked (ESV) are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®, copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.</div>
</div>
This is just a portion of the Psalm. Go read it for yourself. <br />
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It grieves me that I have failed too often to teach the truth of the Word of God to my children. I want to do better. Choosing songs of rich theology and truth is one way to start. So I've been filling up my own cup so that it overflows a bit better. And maybe, just maybe, the whole tailgating thing will catch on.<br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/214/2EBC7D6C3CC4D29737129E6D5BEA1FF4.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0;" /></a>Lindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14642701364961233975noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882904206500905118.post-62960887552499050462016-12-05T10:55:00.000-06:002016-12-05T10:55:07.779-06:00Real Life Is Messy<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Today I looked at blogger for the first time in months. I haven't read a blog or written a post for so long. Right now, December 4th, I am looking at heaps of laundry, Christmas decorations half done strewn across the house, Christmas cards that need addressing/sending, and a very dirty floor pretty much all throughout my house. On top of that there are just the every day and even some extraordinary stressors beating on my hearts door. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">As I was perusing the blogs that I used to read almost daily and enjoy looking at occasionally now it kind of made me sick. Everyone is posting how to decorate this or that for Christmas, showing beautifully decorated rooms and blogging Bible studies themed for Advent.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This post is not about any of the themes of the preceeding paragraph. I'm feeling real life today and it is messy! Not just tangibly but in my soul. Things that shouldn't be happening are happening and life feels kind of overwhelming.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Yesterday our sermon at church was about the unexpected. All of December our sermons are going to be about expectations, but I'll confess, I didn't see the theme of dealing with the unexpected coming. We've had arguments and unwelcome surprises this week in our home. We've had to make changes in work schedules and family get together schedules. I feel like an old pinball machine that is stuck on tilt. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But this morning in my soul I felt peace. A word of encouragement on a cousin's social media, a chastising word from Jesus in my Bible reading and just the Presence of Jesus in my life is giving me peace. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">If you are looking for decor perfection or life instructions don't come to my blog. But if you want to know where to go to find true peace I can point you there---Jesus.</span><br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/214/2EBC7D6C3CC4D29737129E6D5BEA1FF4.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0;" /></a>Lindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14642701364961233975noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882904206500905118.post-82869936028812156792016-06-17T10:11:00.003-06:002016-07-11T12:27:04.276-06:00Summer and a Family/Puppy Update<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Well, I'm sure like everywhere else, it is HOT HOT HOT in the land of Ahs.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">That's because it's summer!</span><br />
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<img height="272" src="https://scontent-ord1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/13427847_1768872773346622_8364222029947549109_n.jpg?oh=847b4598468e9f6bd33754212027d01b&oe=57D0D846" width="320" /><br />
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We've been baking for about 2 weeks now in the upper 90s and 100 degree range. Good thing we had tons of rain in May! We could actually use some rain now but haven't been able to "cook" anything up so far.<br />
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So, it's hot. This morning before 10 o'clock my pups have already been in their pool to get completely wet and then come into the house to be cool. I dry them with a towel and then they lay in front of a fan and/or on an AC vent to get dry and cool. <br />
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I think they are prepubescent. They are getting a little less obedient at times but not bad. They are truly really good puppies. They got a little rowdy in the kitchen after they came in from swimming this morning. I guess nobody can sleep all day long and not get antsy. <br />
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M & B are growing like weeds in the hot sun. I'm kind of sad at how fast they are growing even though I knew it would happen. They are just the cutest puppies ever when they are small and I miss it now that they are getting bigger. They are medium size dogs now. When I try to imagine how big they are going to get it makes me sad because they won't be puppies anymore. But it makes me happy because I love big dogs and when they are grown they truly do just lie around doing nothing all day and don't get into much.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxOJbnViRDnG8i5KU1vIgwbRZ1C6voG6o9rTUpC__yEZR-Uj11HyjW8U2m3MlsQaFRGwPOv7rxdBjntUiNREY_NahFFOCj6R7qmMWQEu6iFqVT2zp3fIh1VsJsr67JgZ-JLyqD2F-SCtg/s1600/2016-06-14+11.15.31+%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxOJbnViRDnG8i5KU1vIgwbRZ1C6voG6o9rTUpC__yEZR-Uj11HyjW8U2m3MlsQaFRGwPOv7rxdBjntUiNREY_NahFFOCj6R7qmMWQEu6iFqVT2zp3fIh1VsJsr67JgZ-JLyqD2F-SCtg/s320/2016-06-14+11.15.31+%25282%2529.jpg" width="285" /></a></div>
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Katrina is finally enjoying her time in Alaska. The first two weeks she was so homesick that she wanted to come home. Thankfully, we got over that hump and she is doing better. She worked it out with her employer to get a couple days off each week which helps her to recharge her introverted batteries. <br />
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Anna is about to have her first summer job and she is so excited. It isn't all put together yet but it will be good for her and she will stay busy, which she likes. She gets bored being here with me while I am just hanging out with the dogs, sewing, cleaning, and working the landscape. She loves structure and misses being in school which gives her that.<br />
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Adam is doing great and we see him from time to time when he comes over to see the pups, mow Grandma's yard and at church on Sundays.<br />
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Zach is working hard at his job and has been home a couple times in the past month. He works every other Saturday so that makes weekends less likely to come the hour trip this direction.<br />
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Nathan has been working on so many projects at work that had hard deadlines for graduation parties, etc and I think he has finally gotten to slow down a bit. He also has come home a couple of times to see the pups which has been so nice. It is not a fun trip from Wichita to here but he has graciously done it.<br />
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Craig has been swamped with work ever since it started raining and hailing in the spring. He never seems to take a break even when he is home except for doing things around the farm or house that he feels need doing. The heat is getting to him since he walks in fields counting up losses for farmers on a daily basis.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXWGcJuf1sJ31KNFBOZzogG5cL6c22K1Ekz34JSnRT5O7mE3VCXFiG5J95lpT3mYpmhq2dqfLd2iQHcJLzF1x_g98BdI4W813syyTdujnXR7ZM0T7fywj_gA9nKfkY0wsqGGYaBCmfLt4/s1600/2016-06-13+17.59.12.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXWGcJuf1sJ31KNFBOZzogG5cL6c22K1Ekz34JSnRT5O7mE3VCXFiG5J95lpT3mYpmhq2dqfLd2iQHcJLzF1x_g98BdI4W813syyTdujnXR7ZM0T7fywj_gA9nKfkY0wsqGGYaBCmfLt4/s400/2016-06-13+17.59.12.jpg" width="225" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Anna and Berkley</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8U1ngk4PRaS3CEPk5isbVN_sHVRNEaxLFTSJTMHVclj5zaS-lGbJxzjRXAX9DcvHbp3QlB5STTynKeKoxKiNjPYmdOu0MxRK7HpKr2PXGeJF1BMuj1EDi14Pi-mPINBn0h2Mec7I8aGk/s1600/2016-04-20+17.35.34.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8U1ngk4PRaS3CEPk5isbVN_sHVRNEaxLFTSJTMHVclj5zaS-lGbJxzjRXAX9DcvHbp3QlB5STTynKeKoxKiNjPYmdOu0MxRK7HpKr2PXGeJF1BMuj1EDi14Pi-mPINBn0h2Mec7I8aGk/s400/2016-04-20+17.35.34.jpg" width="225" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Adam and Berkley</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwqFtI4hkZaUZ2Q4PDYRSe1c-K-K1iCe_lDtw_QmIT_bJ0HsPwYFB5IYE6nOnTaYRaOcCE0yqS_CYulFIzHEWTZlxSqa53RAvlGX4HTnIQdWnZIyiCsjXVc6Tk8ri4cEtirQm1NISwQpE/s1600/2016-06-11+22.04.54.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwqFtI4hkZaUZ2Q4PDYRSe1c-K-K1iCe_lDtw_QmIT_bJ0HsPwYFB5IYE6nOnTaYRaOcCE0yqS_CYulFIzHEWTZlxSqa53RAvlGX4HTnIQdWnZIyiCsjXVc6Tk8ri4cEtirQm1NISwQpE/s400/2016-06-11+22.04.54.jpg" width="225" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Zach and Murphy</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYtMbUBGwBlbMFg0jyuZ06oKB22JiH10plQ0GTrba42RJnLnsiVtmp3XkzGvo4-xUDggvOtM0OEyplUwiAA_THxrg8i4kcMUkj89t1ISNwan70_g027TxopryiIV46efkJzTxkpnNbH-4/s1600/2016-05-28+14.12.22.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYtMbUBGwBlbMFg0jyuZ06oKB22JiH10plQ0GTrba42RJnLnsiVtmp3XkzGvo4-xUDggvOtM0OEyplUwiAA_THxrg8i4kcMUkj89t1ISNwan70_g027TxopryiIV46efkJzTxkpnNbH-4/s400/2016-05-28+14.12.22.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Nathan with Murphy and Zach with Berkley</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiRhKCxrbGirhcHcLpWFlq_7XTST7y7c6q6ot0O-UNS9_Dqk-D2QeV7LclLHSa6R_Arsral6n88GQMw_0VHCioGoDhUBdXnYgjIYUwLn6pNmwTOOltTHRQ32ybc84cePh3Z_ssYG3ks-Q/s1600/2016-06-17+16.07.04.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiRhKCxrbGirhcHcLpWFlq_7XTST7y7c6q6ot0O-UNS9_Dqk-D2QeV7LclLHSa6R_Arsral6n88GQMw_0VHCioGoDhUBdXnYgjIYUwLn6pNmwTOOltTHRQ32ybc84cePh3Z_ssYG3ks-Q/s320/2016-06-17+16.07.04.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Anna with Berkley and Katrina with Murphy (this picture makes B look exceptionally largeer which she is not)</td></tr>
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Because, you know, it's all about the puppies and the kids!!!!!<br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/214/2EBC7D6C3CC4D29737129E6D5BEA1FF4.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0;" /></a>Lindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14642701364961233975noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882904206500905118.post-47764381310958895592016-06-09T10:08:00.001-06:002016-06-09T10:08:13.600-06:00Pinterest Summer Treat<br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I pin a lot of recipes on Pinterest. I've tried many of them. Some have worked out and were delicious. Some were tasty but didn't quite meet my expectations.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This is a Pinterest win!!! A refreshing summer treat that is good for you as well!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Here's the recipe:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Ingredients:</span><br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">32 oz. plain Greek yogurt</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">1/2 cup honey</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">1 pint raspberries</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">1 pint blueberries</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">about 1 cup strawberries, sliced</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Parchment paper</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Directions:</span><br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Line a 9 x 13 baking dish with parchment paper</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In a mixing bowl, whisk together the yogurt and honey</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Pour and spread the yogurt mixture into the base of the lined baking dish</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Sprinkle the different berries and gently press into the yogurt</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Freeze for at least 2 hours or until completely frozen</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Use a knife to make the first "break" and then you can break with your hands. Break into serving size pieces and serve cold.</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There were no pints of berries the day I was at the store so I bought a bag of frozen mixed berries, thawed them in the fridge a bit and used them. So mine doesn't look as pretty since I was lazy and didn't slice the strawberries. But they taste great!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
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<img alt="Tripe Berry Yogurt Bark on 5DollarDinners.com: " src="https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/18/66/bc/1866bc0fb253ec1ac2f534d76c990c83.jpg" /><br />
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<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/214/2EBC7D6C3CC4D29737129E6D5BEA1FF4.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0px;" /></a>Lindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14642701364961233975noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882904206500905118.post-13606515560720285292016-05-12T11:17:00.003-06:002016-05-23T13:33:00.534-06:00When The Future Doesn't Look Like It Does For Everyone Else<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">It is graduation time around here and probably in most every community in the U.S. We have several parties to go to over the weekend from two different schools. I hope we can get everybody visited.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">As happens at this time of year everyone is buzzing about what each other will be doing next year: going to college, tech school or working. Most people have some dream or ambition about which they are excited. And for most people they will achieve whatever they set out to do within reason. Some people will far exceed their ambitions.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">But for special needs kids and their parents graduation is a frightening time. My youngest will graduate next year and she has been worrying herself about what she will do with her life for many years. I have put her off of it for a long time telling her it isn't necessary to worry about it. But with it now looming into our field of vision, I can't do that much longer.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Most kids have so many options that the world truly is their oyster (whatever that actually means). But whatever their "disability" is, special needs kids have unique situations that make it a bit harder. I have a friend whose daughter is super smart but who happens to live life in a wheelchair. Sending her off to college is a bit more of a daunting thought for her parents. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">My daughter has an invisible disability. Although she has cerebral palsy which affects her left leg, that hasn't stopped her from doing life. She embraces sports and loves them with her whole heart--she just never really gets to succeed at them. My heart nearly broke recently when we were at a track meet and she came over to us in tears and said "will I ever succeed at anything?" </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">My darling girl wants to be involved in everything life has to offer her in school. She just never gets to be the best at anything. So while other kids are getting awards for sports, arts, music, drama or grades, she just sits there wondering why she has to suffer with being inflicted with a life that she did nothing to deserve. Don't get me wrong, she works harder than anybody I know and <b>every single </b>teacher she has had has said the same thing. So many days she comes home and in her frustration with her life she labels herself "stupid" because she is not like everyone else her age. I don't allow her to have social media because she doesn't need to compare herself to others any more than she already does and she also doesn't need to see all the times she is left out of social activities.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">She won't know that I am writing this. I'm trying not to sound or be bitter. Having a special needs child is harder than anyone could ever imagine. There are some kids who would look at my special needs kid and think she has the world by the tail. Everyone's disabilities are different. But if you don't have a child with special needs you don't realize how left out they feel or how frightening the future is for them. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">We didn't set out to be parents of a special needs kid. We knew that when we adopted we were getting a child with a "slight problem with one leg" but the other stuff, the FAS stuff, we didn't know about until it began to show itself and explain why sometimes things were harder for her. No one sets out to have a special needs kid unless they are intentionally adopting one. There are a lot of people who just end up living in that foreign country of special needs and never got to read the guidebook to know where they would be going.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">But I'm thankful for what having a special needs child has taught me. It has made me more compassionate and understanding of kids with learning disabilities. It has made our family more sensitive and supportive to people with special needs I hope. But more than anything else, it has made me realize that we should not take anything for granted. I have 4 kids who skated through school like I did--not truly appreciating how easily things came to them and getting good grades in spite of being lazy students. </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Brain injuries can happen at any time in life and none of us knows what the future holds. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I guess what I want to say here is this: if you are a student with life spreading its table of opportunities before you, be thankful. If you are a parent of kids who are "normal", be thankful. And for everyone who doesn't live in my daughter's shoes, be understanding that it is hard to feel like you are "less than" everyone else around you when you have done nothing to deserve it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Happy Graduation Week!</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/214/2EBC7D6C3CC4D29737129E6D5BEA1FF4.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0;" /></a>Lindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14642701364961233975noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882904206500905118.post-12148790878521070572016-04-25T12:40:00.000-06:002016-04-25T13:09:21.093-06:00My New Redneck PatioToday I decided to embrace my new reality. So my patio has had to be removed and is now a dirtio (that's a patio made from dirt). I may not love my new situation but I can somehow deal with it and use it to my advantage.<br />
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For lunch today I took my salad out on my "new" redneck patio and sat down to eat while my pups played.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiln9oBi5OjZlehy2XjcUiLfVLk7JAoZX_l_RjIUki0y6O3QsTHXDRkD5ZP4QlkzlvmwyxFZkk8XxgjbpOrxub-ATKZhgy0FTB_xo4oNubqJQpUom1YTsV2OYdvKlw494vdWGAGtCsZjdA/s1600/2016-04-25+11.47.03.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiln9oBi5OjZlehy2XjcUiLfVLk7JAoZX_l_RjIUki0y6O3QsTHXDRkD5ZP4QlkzlvmwyxFZkk8XxgjbpOrxub-ATKZhgy0FTB_xo4oNubqJQpUom1YTsV2OYdvKlw494vdWGAGtCsZjdA/s400/2016-04-25+11.47.03.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Can't get much more redneck than this.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
My hubby and 2 of our sons put in an underground invisible fence on Saturday so now the girls can play outside without me chasing them around and worrying they will get hit all of the time<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbIRnnhQN7XSuObkNF2gou86t6zj-gAqk1AChjFJ09o30Qe2qmx9rQJvIzoajr6FWmd3gT2PvSw-91YbhUNysH-bWFy7_ilfiL6hUnKIuGC1fpEGMHOZMR-gVkmaKi-QulhXceTP1lwu0/s1600/2016-04-25+11.47.25.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbIRnnhQN7XSuObkNF2gou86t6zj-gAqk1AChjFJ09o30Qe2qmx9rQJvIzoajr6FWmd3gT2PvSw-91YbhUNysH-bWFy7_ilfiL6hUnKIuGC1fpEGMHOZMR-gVkmaKi-QulhXceTP1lwu0/s400/2016-04-25+11.47.25.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Aren't you jealous?<br />
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<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/214/2EBC7D6C3CC4D29737129E6D5BEA1FF4.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0px;" /></a>Lindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14642701364961233975noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882904206500905118.post-68608198573770663082016-04-20T09:49:00.002-06:002016-04-20T10:18:09.390-06:00What a Week!<br />
Whew! Life around here has been like a cyclone this past week. <br />
<br />
Let's recap:<br />
<br />
Last week we got 2 puppies, had major construction work done on our basement, our daughter had her first prom.<br />
<br />
Life with the puppies is going well--we have good days and we have bad days when it comes to potty training. I just try to take it in stride and know that one day they will grow up enough to be able to hold it a little longer. Most of the training is for ME and making a good routine for them to depend on so they can succeed.<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNXe-jBLuzwKRZjsLSjjncXwb-MWbmWoUCR65blatjU6Awn2LVU6UzFnFzK98PhfvS-BDvUz0fK2Otm3WW9kxtB2nb8DZ67R-XULW_bJCpJpSsDZvXG1BVEgp9Gu0fVo10_eDfY4a1JZ0/s1600/2016-04-14+08.27.45.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNXe-jBLuzwKRZjsLSjjncXwb-MWbmWoUCR65blatjU6Awn2LVU6UzFnFzK98PhfvS-BDvUz0fK2Otm3WW9kxtB2nb8DZ67R-XULW_bJCpJpSsDZvXG1BVEgp9Gu0fVo10_eDfY4a1JZ0/s400/2016-04-14+08.27.45.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> Berkley likes to sleep with her head like this for some reason.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8Rtuew3FzdTcGtS8B7w_rf6m3EAqIT2O9yAKKIFhxHJkH62H1qVW4Hw3P47giQzTtMvIRJ3Y8VHMq5MYR3gvZVXpU_VT5NL6n28nZMl0uTo9jkcEXJ2qpFuXLNjNzDqVaehmWWMgI-fM/s1600/2016-04-15+16.38.35.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8Rtuew3FzdTcGtS8B7w_rf6m3EAqIT2O9yAKKIFhxHJkH62H1qVW4Hw3P47giQzTtMvIRJ3Y8VHMq5MYR3gvZVXpU_VT5NL6n28nZMl0uTo9jkcEXJ2qpFuXLNjNzDqVaehmWWMgI-fM/s400/2016-04-15+16.38.35.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Murphy tends to love to hang over a leg of the table.</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdPydZHs8qrQ-_DeC2usptxZMXU3ZVAqI7YvfgAVoGaAvRH9kcej_Yx6dB6ryPSlMOgRA2unpWih5JQJTBssUyFH9dztCLVdxue-0fy9T3IosAgrmFyroyuegtikcVS3Bs1DkcEvUsfAg/s1600/2016-04-14+12.19.02.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdPydZHs8qrQ-_DeC2usptxZMXU3ZVAqI7YvfgAVoGaAvRH9kcej_Yx6dB6ryPSlMOgRA2unpWih5JQJTBssUyFH9dztCLVdxue-0fy9T3IosAgrmFyroyuegtikcVS3Bs1DkcEvUsfAg/s400/2016-04-14+12.19.02.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"> But mostly they just like to sleep.....</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4cbBbaR-iYrQ7L2QkRo8P2eXx0YZ21GojiUcw_mXgPztz1iLfKfw4Dbp52LHfS2TvOTY_S_WCZZfxnVFYYu-OlUVg8wx0JSZD8vX22_-coQr5-josoGWsgFohx6IC3dbQmnCZ25hliMk/s1600/2016-04-14+13.53.20.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4cbBbaR-iYrQ7L2QkRo8P2eXx0YZ21GojiUcw_mXgPztz1iLfKfw4Dbp52LHfS2TvOTY_S_WCZZfxnVFYYu-OlUVg8wx0JSZD8vX22_-coQr5-josoGWsgFohx6IC3dbQmnCZ25hliMk/s320/2016-04-14+13.53.20.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">together.</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi22FDe_wtKKQrjnXWBn5r9rugDeKTwQMCVS_sZ00G1rBU8qAtkRcJbtVdOPMFIe9z98B6lsNe3dYFmRFtR5SK-GW7ScdFBlwhTPgNeNG0eFO8ezD6AmkNl2Eh9hwpsD-FLTgFbalYapOo/s1600/2016-04-14+21.31.14.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi22FDe_wtKKQrjnXWBn5r9rugDeKTwQMCVS_sZ00G1rBU8qAtkRcJbtVdOPMFIe9z98B6lsNe3dYFmRFtR5SK-GW7ScdFBlwhTPgNeNG0eFO8ezD6AmkNl2Eh9hwpsD-FLTgFbalYapOo/s400/2016-04-14+21.31.14.jpg" width="225" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">But most of the awake time is like a puppy WWE wrestling match.</td></tr>
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The construction was nuts! The men were here Monday through Thursday digging a huge trench behind my house to the bottom of our basement wall, They fixed the problem but they were here each day for very long hours and in and out of my house with dirty shoes, wheel barrows, cement, power tools, etc. Wednesday night they were here until 9 p.m. Craig was gone Wednesday through Friday so I was on my own taking care of the pups, keeping up with Anna and trying not to go crazy with all of the mess. It is all fixed now but we have had a ton of rain this week so now I have a muddy, pond-like mess in the place where it is most natural to take my girls out to play and do their business.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ25qCNBEDbnTysIRpKoER9L5PoyVjUODbWGA8eTrvni7zCAt5b98be4mr-u2ldDVkMlqnDjoMxU0miWTFG8wmc_9DDO5Tw7FkkBO7m-9_LgazlbDx5kw_61WdZW5lIpC3oGVbtWmVKrE/s1600/2016-04-12+16.54.17.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ25qCNBEDbnTysIRpKoER9L5PoyVjUODbWGA8eTrvni7zCAt5b98be4mr-u2ldDVkMlqnDjoMxU0miWTFG8wmc_9DDO5Tw7FkkBO7m-9_LgazlbDx5kw_61WdZW5lIpC3oGVbtWmVKrE/s400/2016-04-12+16.54.17.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">After some of the digging. That's a man standing in the hole.</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-PkYnYlUHH6xB0xN2gnV1J8WphscNaYgjnp_t1uRYwKssrkkSbLPENh6mdQofdzf09ci42hC5jgHVneq1BZwOv2X9tLsABLo4ytPJxoXOS8kXZrklT5lo2ZHnsWHqssTZdAh0UL1KuI8/s1600/2016-04-14+07.21.46.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-PkYnYlUHH6xB0xN2gnV1J8WphscNaYgjnp_t1uRYwKssrkkSbLPENh6mdQofdzf09ci42hC5jgHVneq1BZwOv2X9tLsABLo4ytPJxoXOS8kXZrklT5lo2ZHnsWHqssTZdAh0UL1KuI8/s400/2016-04-14+07.21.46.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">New egress window.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuWcZH67VD5dUWJnCAAlwHb65tNM0ASEitvaX64VzkyJuWvMfCWd6Jp_RdyC7OgHhA0bYaxjAWuj6oc_5ZHYOxe589kL4VnJtSMhUDcf6r_iRf6ycX1jELGUknFO6zprsjq7EsEy2dhPI/s1600/2016-04-14+07.21.27.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuWcZH67VD5dUWJnCAAlwHb65tNM0ASEitvaX64VzkyJuWvMfCWd6Jp_RdyC7OgHhA0bYaxjAWuj6oc_5ZHYOxe589kL4VnJtSMhUDcf6r_iRf6ycX1jELGUknFO6zprsjq7EsEy2dhPI/s400/2016-04-14+07.21.27.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One of the new window wells, rubber flashing, waterproofing foam, rock, dirt.</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgl4KYPWSzSYDhUC6c69RXlIT4ZkRsKbDRMrsVTDWd6sa3NF80MoZjqp2HSSQtIPBtFgARyWdMCY3F7px4Z5bU-IGr0CBd8eK2REFQyQ7C8CjSCAiemlKK5MnpYb_MIX1UuBTJLaDTKkm8/s1600/2016-04-14+07.21.31.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgl4KYPWSzSYDhUC6c69RXlIT4ZkRsKbDRMrsVTDWd6sa3NF80MoZjqp2HSSQtIPBtFgARyWdMCY3F7px4Z5bU-IGr0CBd8eK2REFQyQ7C8CjSCAiemlKK5MnpYb_MIX1UuBTJLaDTKkm8/s400/2016-04-14+07.21.31.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Another window well.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaYhyI-2j-bg2sJzQcXaQOV0NoQT5_m-5dT_YUZcEdJ3zgxxcSY1hAjtNYsqrV1axu-X8dtCQrSueLJ7mKxNrD8WxAwJOx5I6vkaRgrPVLfyNgyR80ttt2_HRUegChBrmoapI3vIOHLsE/s1600/2016-04-13+10.25.23.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaYhyI-2j-bg2sJzQcXaQOV0NoQT5_m-5dT_YUZcEdJ3zgxxcSY1hAjtNYsqrV1axu-X8dtCQrSueLJ7mKxNrD8WxAwJOx5I6vkaRgrPVLfyNgyR80ttt2_HRUegChBrmoapI3vIOHLsE/s400/2016-04-13+10.25.23.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Outside my eating nook window.</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTzXflecAmQ_LCU9oJJBjwpf84efQunbNdBR0821kMK_9haHAXdptQfIOJPPZPzUlHhwFRAtSg3nDLtpQRTjFlLVaqZ-XC2MmlKiQIzOec1OdrKyDeIa2c7VDmfj1yVsnTfj_UBBXlpQ0/s1600/2016-04-13+10.25.37.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTzXflecAmQ_LCU9oJJBjwpf84efQunbNdBR0821kMK_9haHAXdptQfIOJPPZPzUlHhwFRAtSg3nDLtpQRTjFlLVaqZ-XC2MmlKiQIzOec1OdrKyDeIa2c7VDmfj1yVsnTfj_UBBXlpQ0/s400/2016-04-13+10.25.37.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our formerly beautiful patio.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXNh8SLgtiXQbPsVRBqAvgcin-gwg3avrV5PIIUXcoAkR9zkTtGIYgBhVUFX2gAQyY1rmtscd0HWhn19z_ToiHBvOjndMViU10458LUaNxytU6uaJf-RGDZDVXRFKYVNzpHOKKogzI_9Y/s1600/2016-04-18+14.04.33.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXNh8SLgtiXQbPsVRBqAvgcin-gwg3avrV5PIIUXcoAkR9zkTtGIYgBhVUFX2gAQyY1rmtscd0HWhn19z_ToiHBvOjndMViU10458LUaNxytU6uaJf-RGDZDVXRFKYVNzpHOKKogzI_9Y/s400/2016-04-18+14.04.33.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Outside my eating nook.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjU69hQoSGf7OVSBbWJVFQ6aVrr7nYAjrLHezkkAMHl84tabv_z_BwivRun3J5W6zbzVjRDhx3JzpZjk658z3tR9itXTAv4IXau5bZcm2Qiwg1pbK8SaWDrsHUpJl24IPN77ywUNR6ZPes/s1600/2016-04-20+10.51.48.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjU69hQoSGf7OVSBbWJVFQ6aVrr7nYAjrLHezkkAMHl84tabv_z_BwivRun3J5W6zbzVjRDhx3JzpZjk658z3tR9itXTAv4IXau5bZcm2Qiwg1pbK8SaWDrsHUpJl24IPN77ywUNR6ZPes/s400/2016-04-20+10.51.48.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Former patio </td></tr>
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The prom was held on what turned out to be a beautiful evening. The kids took pictures next to a pond by a church in town and it was a beautiful setting. Most importantly my girl had lots of fun and enjoyed herself after a hectic week of preparations by her class each evening after track practice. Thank goodness there are only 21 days of school left! Then she can start on her crazy summer before her senior year. Here we go!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixOBPlEXxw37EaEu9ea8OX9EjILU7etw_1xgD1FXWaIX2lP6Gw3OF40uTAh6dVWuIxo3H9Syr9etfofzGenVMV7MsLD01R0LDvZvi2jDgMnu_WyDSQoo7mMCe1WwUaONhRIFgR2dKPltg/s1600/Prom+2016+group.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixOBPlEXxw37EaEu9ea8OX9EjILU7etw_1xgD1FXWaIX2lP6Gw3OF40uTAh6dVWuIxo3H9Syr9etfofzGenVMV7MsLD01R0LDvZvi2jDgMnu_WyDSQoo7mMCe1WwUaONhRIFgR2dKPltg/s400/Prom+2016+group.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Great girls!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTzdPQ-FXzrS2jn6LL9v_JYqihgk28yQYPWyGrFN_6RlSXmIi51H5HwlVG03ak88jhINe-bIbfouUIwAn6_AfX_ua11zCsavIwhLOMwgVrMg2HAUb2Us7G_RDOKo2eSTDNKoLjHRuzcX4/s1600/2016-04-16+17.29.41.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTzdPQ-FXzrS2jn6LL9v_JYqihgk28yQYPWyGrFN_6RlSXmIi51H5HwlVG03ak88jhINe-bIbfouUIwAn6_AfX_ua11zCsavIwhLOMwgVrMg2HAUb2Us7G_RDOKo2eSTDNKoLjHRuzcX4/s400/2016-04-16+17.29.41.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Group that rode our church bus to arrive.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSRK2caoiBn9HLFkfA2FNqDgeqoKHTc-l5IyYReMzqi8Y3G9osqbkFI0t-ADhM7wbtg6KR6OCmYhuSqVSheXCm9UfEmJ-1ZrR_7m5Tal6KZrjUG9yWpiBbuM1fUNt4TERO6kjWsfE_nxo/s1600/2016-04-16+18.12.52.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSRK2caoiBn9HLFkfA2FNqDgeqoKHTc-l5IyYReMzqi8Y3G9osqbkFI0t-ADhM7wbtg6KR6OCmYhuSqVSheXCm9UfEmJ-1ZrR_7m5Tal6KZrjUG9yWpiBbuM1fUNt4TERO6kjWsfE_nxo/s400/2016-04-16+18.12.52.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Walking in with their group.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia1CZasn4zFrOJ8YOmX4mRhC9-W8H8tfY6PvrUgvaoHesToO2RM6tc8PD3o84Y3PfGnVH-HgtdrfToLVWpNlBTnzqyAPR5TZmowCxkQ7aKCIGGGWqG9_QV9kqY66UfRVtYNnY-CXc6UUM/s1600/2016-04-16+17.16.34.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia1CZasn4zFrOJ8YOmX4mRhC9-W8H8tfY6PvrUgvaoHesToO2RM6tc8PD3o84Y3PfGnVH-HgtdrfToLVWpNlBTnzqyAPR5TZmowCxkQ7aKCIGGGWqG9_QV9kqY66UfRVtYNnY-CXc6UUM/s400/2016-04-16+17.16.34.jpg" width="225" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My sweet girl.</td></tr>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/214/2EBC7D6C3CC4D29737129E6D5BEA1FF4.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0;" /></a>Lindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14642701364961233975noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882904206500905118.post-55505076049302694022016-04-13T08:42:00.000-06:002016-04-13T12:30:02.454-06:00All Kinds of Crazy!We are dealing with all kinds of crazy at our house this week. Somehow, though, that is how we Polsons seem to operate most efficiently.<br />
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If you follow me on social media you know that we got two adorable St. Bernard puppies on Monday which we are so excited about. They are just about the cutest things ever and have done pretty well at acclimating to our hectic week. The first night we were up with them several times to take them out to potty but last night they were better and learned that after going out they had to be quiet and either sleep or cuddle with each other in their crate. They already follow me wherever I go so I guess I have achieved full mama status.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGTVPhkflWrwLYDyCEGbBPsu5ROx0kBKngcIZxZS_C_IVlU2vpbhGWO82SBel8O1sWaUH8Hud7Ifd882u60tEBL7IICnXGpTHtO6NSlB2FH8tjYkZSRmchDcpqVMhMvUF6l6uUADU9tbA/s1600/2016-03-19+14.41.07.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGTVPhkflWrwLYDyCEGbBPsu5ROx0kBKngcIZxZS_C_IVlU2vpbhGWO82SBel8O1sWaUH8Hud7Ifd882u60tEBL7IICnXGpTHtO6NSlB2FH8tjYkZSRmchDcpqVMhMvUF6l6uUADU9tbA/s400/2016-03-19+14.41.07.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Murphy & Berkley when I went to "choose" them.<br />
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I'm sure my blog and social media will have more puppy pictures than anyone else can handle. Sorry, not sorry!<br />
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We also have a MAJOR construction project going on at our house. They are repairing our foundation and basement walls to stop the leaking when it rains. You can't imagine what a huge job this has been. It looks ugly and our house is in total disarray because of it. These pictures don't really do it justice. They have pounded out a hole in our basement floor to put in a sump pump for future flooding. Outside, they have dug a 12+ foot deep by 40 foot long trench and are waterproofing where a joint in the concrete was made where there should have been a continual pour. I can't take the puppies out back because of piles of dirt 6 feet tall and the huge hole just outside our back door. There is plastic taped to my kitchen floor and basement stairs which is nice, but it makes it a little messy for taking care of pups. It will be great when they are done and gone. Thankful they can do it, though.<br />
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Recently, Anna was in her school play which was a silly little tale set in the 60's. She played an old granny woman and had lots of fun.<br />
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This next weekend is her first prom so she has been decorating for it and I will have to go decorate for Post Prom tomorrow and Friday. She also has track practice every night after school and had her first softball practice last Sunday night for summer ball coming up. <br />
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Our kids were all home last weekend as well as our nephew and his new wife. We went bowling together Saturday night and had so much fum.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhx6y6-WOWcsPom9phvU_n_KLzaq70D6C1IYwKxsV9vlCZE_tx-V7X5KXSsDUOMMg26msskD87N0HlnPD0M7-y5NYBehwltGe7uodlC38Lxk4ewKtD2yCtzj53uFLSyVv3DR73qC581X3k/s1600/2016-04-09+19.55.35.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhx6y6-WOWcsPom9phvU_n_KLzaq70D6C1IYwKxsV9vlCZE_tx-V7X5KXSsDUOMMg26msskD87N0HlnPD0M7-y5NYBehwltGe7uodlC38Lxk4ewKtD2yCtzj53uFLSyVv3DR73qC581X3k/s400/2016-04-09+19.55.35.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Nathan and Ruth (our nephew's wife) take a turn</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Elizabeth (Nathan's girlfriend) and Anna</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimQkRnwgZhA5awRXk8weTFj4he_ubNJhkSWXsJINc-K1FntgaaV-Rvc7yWI_kexSPM6u3gaswgCbkTpZ7DkrkmYpUNfpFWk8V4M01tZvd1HgtqW-eNEnmYtv_MsjekpgeUR_k9tWhKEPU/s1600/2016-04-09+19.56.34.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimQkRnwgZhA5awRXk8weTFj4he_ubNJhkSWXsJINc-K1FntgaaV-Rvc7yWI_kexSPM6u3gaswgCbkTpZ7DkrkmYpUNfpFWk8V4M01tZvd1HgtqW-eNEnmYtv_MsjekpgeUR_k9tWhKEPU/s400/2016-04-09+19.56.34.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Zach, Adam, Josh, Katrina, Ruth</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Anna</td></tr>
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If you love dogs keep coming back for pictures of my cuties!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE0Z4iHV247P2cBvqHkRMncRyETB9gXSP16AvWFIxcNCkaFBbJd78HZbCTSRdBmpqpNpsqf01VFM8DOKnBf5mGRFWc3ODHIE2pf-S-HVi-ONB3gKelSO2b7ynBN4JmdC-WePOp9AxpbxI/s1600/2016-04-12+14.15.40.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE0Z4iHV247P2cBvqHkRMncRyETB9gXSP16AvWFIxcNCkaFBbJd78HZbCTSRdBmpqpNpsqf01VFM8DOKnBf5mGRFWc3ODHIE2pf-S-HVi-ONB3gKelSO2b7ynBN4JmdC-WePOp9AxpbxI/s400/2016-04-12+14.15.40.jpg" width="225" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Berkley & Katrina</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEdrqE2asyz7jnpHjIA4VGBrwKR-LJIdZueyOKOgwmJbsn75Regvelg9b5KuqVtNTGpRNJxqB3RY2_-A-b6D_2wah_azoSVw3FhR7_mXb7kj4Z76ZBmw216Ph0ZcNE6HhXXKmRfTLN0EU/s1600/2016-04-12+14.21.42.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEdrqE2asyz7jnpHjIA4VGBrwKR-LJIdZueyOKOgwmJbsn75Regvelg9b5KuqVtNTGpRNJxqB3RY2_-A-b6D_2wah_azoSVw3FhR7_mXb7kj4Z76ZBmw216Ph0ZcNE6HhXXKmRfTLN0EU/s400/2016-04-12+14.21.42.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Murphy and Me</td></tr>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/214/2EBC7D6C3CC4D29737129E6D5BEA1FF4.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0;" /></a>Lindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14642701364961233975noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882904206500905118.post-32594711947407258692016-03-22T11:15:00.002-06:002016-03-22T15:45:00.658-06:00We've Been Crafting<br />
Finally, I have a blog post that isn't about the trials and tribulations of the past year! Aren't you excited!?!?!?<br />
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We've been doing some things here since the new year started and I have some exciting news coming up but not ready to share it quite yet. You'll have to come back and check to see what it is.<br />
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The first thing we did was make a new headboard for the bed in Nathan's old room.<br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I bought an old door from a local treasure place several years ago with the intent to make a new headboard for the bed in Nathan's room A while back we got queen size beds in all the rooms where the kids have moved out (which means we have great accommodations for friends and family when they visit) so the bed didn't fit the headboard anymore. We gave Adam the headboard from this room for his extra bedroom at his house after Christmas so we needed to replace it. Oh, and I DID get new pillows so it looks a little better now than it does in this picture.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">So we (and by we I mean Craig) made this awesome headboard . It isn't attached to the bed yet so this picture is still a little unfinished. But I love the look and love the paint after we started out with the WRONG color. This one works great.</span></div>
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I've also been quilting pretty seriously since the holidays. I made this little table topper that I will use NEXT winter since I finished it after the weather already started to get nice.<br />
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It was fun to make since I love to do hand work.<br />
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Another fun project for me was to make a baby quilt for friends of Adam's. Their little girl was born just before the end of 2015. Here is the quilt I made for her in her room's colors.<br />
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The next project has been several months in the making only because I was scared to start on the painting. I saw this project on Pinterest and wanted to make it SO badly. Because my husband rocks and can make ANYTHING he put the wood together for me and stained it. Then I aged it with blue and green milk paint like the original person did per their instructions. But painting the wording was going to be difficult because I didn't have access to the fonts that she did. So again my husband came to the rescue and went to someone he knew who paints signs locally and she made a stencil for me. I didn't really stencil the letters on but painted them in with chalk paint from Walmart that I found in the craft section. I LOVE how it turned out and it is now up on our mantel where it belongs</div>
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I'm working on another quilt right now but I will post that when it is finished. I've been needing to do something to be active since my life changed greatly after Adam moved back to his house. I struggled with depression and wondering what to do with my life (we don't have grandchildren WINK WINK).</div>
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Thanks for putting up with all my postings. I'm having fun being creative again!</div>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/214/2EBC7D6C3CC4D29737129E6D5BEA1FF4.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0;" /></a>Lindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14642701364961233975noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882904206500905118.post-42237653230842620282016-02-09T09:30:00.000-06:002016-06-22T08:41:26.645-06:00Timeline of 2015<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Though we all want the year 2015 to be behind us, I have been feeling moved to write everything down in a timeline in order to never forget. Paradox much?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I used this blog to put my <i>feelings</i> down all of last year but my heart has been remembering so much of the actual stuff (though I am sure I have forgotten so much) lately that I must write it down. As I was driving home from Walmart the other day an ambulance passed me without its sirens on but certainly with a mission and it brought back so much emotion. I found myself crying as I was driving. Normally, I'm not much of a crier. Clearly I'm still carrying a lot of baggage.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">So even though my son doesn't want to think about it anymore and doesn't want to be talked about anymore I have to put these things down.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">February 6, 2015--Friday</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Adam had been having a lot of itching skin and he went to his local doctor and had labs done. His liver numbers were up so they made an appointment for him to see his liver doc the following Monday.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">February 9, 2015--Monday</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Adam went to see his liver doc and they did a liver biopsy. His liver looked great but they found a stricture in his bile duct. They said to come back on Friday and they would do a simple procedure to open the duct and possibly put in a stent.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">February 13, 2015--Friday</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Adam entered the local hospital after getting violently ill and experiencing shortness of breath and horrific pain following a "simple" procedure done at KU Med earlier that day to open a narrowing of a bile duct in his liver. Most likely the narrowing was scar tissue due to the sewing together of his vessels and his donor's.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">February 15, 2015--Sunday</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Our doctor following his case in our small town decided to send him to KU Med Center in Kansas City because his white count had jumped up considerably (9,000)and they wanted him nearer to his liver doc.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">We waited a couple hours for the go ahead from KU and then Adam was taken by ambulance and we followed in our car. Anna was taken care of by friends as we had rushed out of church to attend to Adam.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">When we arrived at KU they had Adam on the 5th floor in a room with another patient. He had been doing well with pain control in Sabetha and in the ambulance (it was given every 15 minutes) but now he had gone over 3 hours without any pain medication because orders had not been put in the computer for him. He was in agony. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">By the time we left to head home in snow and ice they were getting orders for him and he let us know while we were driving that he was getting a bit of relief.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">February 18, 2015--wee hours of Wednesday</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">We got a call from Adam in the hospital at 2 a.m. saying that he couldn't take the pain anymore and he needed help but no one was helping him. Craig called to speak to a doctor on call who promised to call back with information and we waited almost 3 hours and heard nothing. Craig headed to KU to get to the bottom of things and stayed in the hospital with Adam.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">February 19, 2015--Thursday</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I arrived to stay at the hospital after making arrangements for Anna to have someone to stay with indefinitely until we got things figured out. By the time I arrived Adam had been moved from 5th floor to 6th floor and then ultimately to the ICU. My first sight of him he was extremely yellow and his breathing was so labored that it made me feel sick to my stomach. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">He had not eaten or had anything to drink since all of this had begun almost a week before. He begged us for a sip of water and we had to refuse him. It was the worst suffering you can imagine to see your child go through with the pain and the inability to drink anything in order to wet your mouth. He wanted us to "break the rules" and get him out of there. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Before the evening had even begun the doctors on his case for that week came to us and said that because of how sick he was and with his mental state degrading from the pain, the sickness and everything he was experiencing they felt it was best for him to be intubated and put under sedation in order to keep him calmer and allow him to rest a bit. I begged his ICU nurse to explain to him what they were doing and why before we were whisked out of his room and out to the waiting area outside of the ICU. For what seemed like an eternity we waited and sobbed our eyes out talking about how it felt so "end of life" and we couldn't believe all of this was really happening. Our church family was at a big Sidewalk Prophets concert at our church so we called who we could call to get support. I called my friend and Craig called his sister. I sobbed out what was happening to Vickie and she promised to pray. At one point we were both just sobbing into the phone and Trish calmly and confidently prayed for us giving us strength.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">When they came back to get us and we went back into the ICU our son was intubated and looked like he was dying. It was probably the worst experience of my life (though we had been in almost this situation once years before). I asked the nurse whom I had asked to explain to Adam why they were intubating him what he had said when they told him what they were doing. and Jonathan said that "he said, I guess this means I'm not going home tonight."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Thus began 5 of the worst days of our lives to that point. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">For 5 days we sat by our son's side, each of us holding a mitten clad hand of his, and spoke to him, prayed for him, sang to him and tried to calm him while he was sedated. One of the worst things for me as a parent was when we left at night to go sleep at the hotel. We had to let go of his hands! In the morning when we came back his hands were still tied to the sides of his bed as they had been during the night while we were not there to hold them. It KILLED me to see his hands tied to the bed. He couldn't talk but he wasn't completely asleep so he would get agitated from time to time and try to get whatever was in his mouth out though he didn't know what it was. The nurses would come in and suction out his lungs through this tape thing that ran along with the tube down his throat. It seemed a horrible procedure. Thankfully, he doesn't remember it. During this time his blood pressure was extremely high and they were concerned about it as were we. His kidneys were under a great deal of stress and it seemed he got more yellow every day. The sedation was decreased a bit each day and at one point he "asked" for a paper and pen in order to communicate with us by writing. It took a while sometimes for us to figure out what he was writing but he was incredibly good at communicating even though at times it was hilarious or scary what he was writing. He wanted his friends in "The Quad" to come to see him and he often asked for something to drink. We kept those papers to remind us of that time. He opened his eyes from time to time but only seemed to look at us vaguely with eyes pleading to get the plastic device out of his mouth. Once he wrote "why do I have a bird in my mouth?" The plastic that held the tube in place went across each of his cheeks and to him they felt like bird wings.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">February 23, 2015--Monday</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Extubation day! Getting that tube out of his mouth was one of the greatest moments of my life. Not out of the woods yet by any means but being able to communicate with him again regardless of how drugged he was made it so much better.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">We stayed in ICU for a bit longer though I didn't write down how many days, though it was a couple of weeks. When he was ready Adam was moved to Unit 66( though I can't remember what day) to continue his care. During this time he still couldn't eat but eventually he was able to take sips and chips. He could have one sip of water or one chip of ice per hour and that was amazing. All he did in his mind was count the minutes until his next opportunity to have something cool touch his mouth. He could be watching TV or talking to someone and he would say "it is 23 minutes until I can have a chip". During this time he had had a biliary drain in his side to take the bile out of his body since the stricture didn't allow it to function normally. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">There was a period of time where he had a feeding tube put in to help him nutritionally. If you've ever had one or know someone who has you know it is a horrible process getting it put in. You basically gag it down until it is in place. I think he had to have it done twice. One time his GI doc came into the room and did it himself because he was so good at doing it. Dr. G told us he had practiced on himself during med school so he could learn how to do it best.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">We saw teams of doctors every day and some were students and others were part of the GI team that was in charge of his case. One day one of the docs who came into the room just blurted out that they had seen a marker that could possibly mean that this stricture problem was a result of cancer. I don't think I had felt the sickening thud in my stomach like that since my doctor had said the C word to me. Quickly after, I went out into the hall and asked that they not mention that word in front of Adam again as he had sort of heard it and had become upset by it naturally. I'm not sure that doctor ever came into his room again. He met with us later and profusely apologized for having scared us. It turned out many weeks later that we were informed that cancer was not part of the equation. So much relief! However, around the time that they first first mentioned it I had a phone conversation with my mom and she said "at least we aren't dealing with cancer." I had to choke back my fearful tears when she said that. Craig and I carried the fear of that around in our hearts and minds for many weeks until we were given the all clear.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">They started to talk about sending Adam home with us eventually and he was given the chance to eat a little bit of pureed food. But it seemed to me that whenever he ate he pretty much threw up whatever he had eaten within a short period of time. But he wanted to go home with us and we certainly wanted out of there if we could do so. So when they got the feeding tube out and he seemed to get a bit better with his white count they released us to go home. All we had to do was take care of that biliary tube. At that time THAT seemed like a huge medical accomplishment for amateurs like us. We knew that going home was just a temporary thing until they could do surgery to correct what they could inside of him but we all wanted to go home in the meantime if we could. The doctor that sent us home did it a bit reluctantly saying that she didn't want us to have to come right back if something went wrong which it very likely could and we knew it well.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">March 11, 2015--Wednesday</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">We got home fairly late in the day and though he was anxious to eat home cooked food rather than pureed hospital food Adam really wasn't able to keep much down without having a lot of acid reflux or throwing up.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> Note: <i> Up until this time Craig and I had both been at the hospital full time and Anna was staying with friends in Sabetha. She stayed with the friends even through this time we came home because of things she had to do at school and since the basketball team was going to state and they were playing in the pep band. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">As we were getting ready for bed that night and doing what we needed to do with the biliary drain I saw that there was a serious leaking problem. We ended up calling KU to speak with a "fellow on call" and he talked us through the problem but suggested we take Adam back down the next day to have it looked at. Indeed, while I was at a morning appointment Craig got a call from the hospital and they wanted him back down there to look at the drain. So the guys went down and they fixed the problem. They were gone most of the day. So much for being home.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">March 13, 2015--Friday</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Adam was still not able to keep much of anything down except a little bit of fluids and just generally was not feeling very well. We called again and got some medication from our local pharmacy to try to help with the reflux.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">March 14, 2015--Saturday</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">EARLY in the morning Adam woke us and insisted that he wasn't feeling well at all and wanted to go to the local ER. We thought maybe he just needed some more medication to help him so Craig took him over. Mid-morning I got a call from Craig saying that Adam's white count had shot up to 45,000 and that they were going to put him in a helicopter and fly him back to KU within the hour. Immediately I called my sister, my mom and Craig's sisters to tell them and started packing a bag to head back to KU. When I got to Sabetha they were still waiting for the copter to arrive. The doctor and the nurses on duty that day were all from our church and the doctor prayed over Adam in the ER before they took him. Once again watching them put my son into that seemingly very small helicopter was a surreal experience.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">We got into the car and took off driving before they even had gotten out of the town's airspace. It took us 2 hours to get there and took them 20 minutes to get him there. Thank goodness it did.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">When we arrived we were in yet another different ICU than the first time we had been there. Our 3 adult kids were on their way as well but when we walked up to the room Adam was in they shooed us away because there was a team of doctors and nurses putting an arterial line and a central line in him along with other assessments and emergency treatments. We waited in a hospitality room in the ICU while we waited for our kids. Not long after the kids arrived they let us go back to the room. One of my big, strong, tough sons started to cry at the sight of his brother. Adam was reassuring to us that he was going to be okay but he certainly didn't look it. We all knew better as well.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">As the evening progressed we had already had a constant parade of doctors, surgeons, kidney experts, and other professionals parade through the corner room. There was a build up of a lot of infected fluid inside Adam and it needed to get out. CT scans and other tests had been done. They told us that they needed to get some drains in and get that fluid out-- probably 2 drains they said. They had to bring in the IR (interventional radiology) team because it was a Saturday so we waited for them to get there and they started to work on Adam around 9 p.m.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">3 drains were put in that night. Total drains= 4.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">That night I had to call Anna before she returned from the state tournament and tell her that she wouldn't be able to come home that night (instead of staying in Sabetha) after all. At that point she stopped believing we would ever come home.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Over the next many days we began the odyssey of dealing with drains, CT scans, in bed X -rays, and many other procedures that would become a daily part of our lives. During the first week they also did needle draws to pull fluid out of the spaces in Adam's body that were filled with infection. I think about 2 gallons of really nasty stuff were removed in that way during that time. It wouldn't be the last time that needle would go in to get fluid out.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The surgeons were brought in and they explained that nothing could be done yet with surgery because at this point it "looked like a bomb had gone off" in our son's belly and the spaces around it. We were told he could possibly lose his pancreas. His kidneys were in trouble and we had to see nephrology docs every day a couple times a day to check on his numbers there. We were warned that he may need dialysis to help him get through this time and he possibly would be on it for an indefinite period of time. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">We prayed. We asked our friends, family, and church family to pray. The kidneys eventually started to go in a positive direction after several days and dialysis was never needed, praise God! At least one thing could be checked off of the list of concerns.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">At one point, Adam's favorite nurse (whom he called First Nurse because she was the one who took care of him as he was taken off the helicopter) told us that Adam had been much sicker than what she had been told before he arrived. He had had to be put on pressers (medications to keep his blood pressure up to normal) to keep him alive in the helicopter and she had faced a much sicker patient than what she had anticipated. It's always good to find those things out AFTER the fact rather than in the moment. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">March 17, 2015</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Got word that my dear cousin Nancy had died of cancer which I had been dreading would happen when we were in the hospital with Adam. It did. Tough day all around.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Physical therapy started at some point during our second stay in ICU and we began a relationship with a wonderful therapist who would continue with Adam throughout the rest of his time at KU. </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The first day he could only take a couple steps from his room into the hallway outside his door. But he continued from there and as he got a bit better and not needing to be in ICU they sent him to Unit 64. We" lived" there for a very long time.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">We had been hesitant to go to Unit 64 because we had really gotten to know and like the nurses on 66. But 64 is the transplant unit and the nurses were familiar with all of the drains, etc. Little did we know how we would come to love the people working on that unit! I'm pretty sure that every single nurse that worked that floor had Adam as a patient at one time or another.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> Adam had been on TPN during his previous hospital stay which was nutritional feeding through an IV line and had also had a <span style="background-color: yellow;">nasogastric (NG)</span> tube taking nutrition to him but had not really been thriving very well. He was losing weight and by this time had probably lost around 40 pounds. Sometime in April or May they put a GJ tube directly into his stomach and much of his medications which didn't go through his PICC line (IV) went in this way as well as his feedings. The feedings would by pass the area of his duodenum which we had been told was virtually "shredded" from the infection and disease of pancreatitis. He was able to drink clear fluids but for the most part they were for comfort only. He would drink them, they would go to his stomach and the G (gastric) part of the tube would pull the fluid right back out of his body into a bag. When giving medications and feedings they would shut the J(jejunal) part off. The feedings had to be suspended a few hours before and after his immunosuppressants (because of his liver transplant 17 years before) were given morning and evening.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">As time wore on and the pain and suffering continued it was hard to see an end in sight for all that Adam was going through. One doctor who had previously worked at Mayo clinic had famously told us that first week back after the helicopter ride that Adam would not be well until 2016. We kind of scoffed at that and thought he was a bit extreme. But then, he knew what he was talking about and we didn't. Thankfully, at that time, we didn't know that he was most certainly fairly accurate in his prediction.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Eventually, after scores of CT scans and other miserably uncomfortable tests there were 3 more drains inserted into our son's body--4 on the front which were arranged mostly on the two sides of his trunk (although one was kind of just off center of his chest) and 3 in the lower back which were so uncomfortable. There was no good position to be in while in a hospital bed with that all going on. The drains had tubes that through gravity and suction from the vacuum collection bags "pulled" out the infected fluid in and around his belly and it was stored in bags called J-Vacs . During a 24 hour period those J-Vacs were all emptied and measured, flushed and recapped every 4 hours or so. The wounds around those drains which were quite large had to be kept as dry and clean as possible. It was almost impossible to keep them clean because there was so much drainage and leakage. The drainage was breaking down the skin around the wounds and it was a vicious cycle of pain that never seemed to end. Dressings were done sometimes 2-3 times a day at that point.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">There would be talk of one surgery or another all this time but the surgeon was never willing to put Adam at such risk as it would have been to do it. We were getting anxious wondering if we were doing the right thing by waiting or if we needed to maybe get another opinion. I really never felt we needed to go anywhere else but the frustration level was extremely high. Adam's good nature that had been prevalent throughout most of our time in the hospital was wearing thin and he was becoming quite discouraged. He felt like he was never going to leave that hospital. Finally in late May, for the good of his mental health, Adam's main doc thought he should get out of the hospital for a break. They were hoping for a 2 week period to get him out of the hospital frame of mind and help him to be more positive. We talked about possibly going back to our local hospital but they really were not equipped with staff or protocol for the kind of care Adam needed. So we took him home.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">May 29, 2015--Friday</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">It had been 106 days in the hospital and home looked really appealing to all of us. We would have Home Health coming a couple days a week to do blood work and help with any problems we might have which required a true medical professional. The rest of the care was up to us. I don't know what made us think we could do it except that we had been watching the nurses do it for 106 days. We had had kind of an intensive short course of medical school by proxy. But it wasn't easy. In fact, it was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. It required so much organization and physical care that I don't think I could ever convey it with simple words. The time spent with our Home Health nurse was minutes a week. Our <a href="http://lindapolson.blogspot.com/2015/06/a-day-in-life.html">schedule</a> was insane and that didn't include all the cooking, laundry, trash collecting (medical waste is huge when you have lots of things going on) and sleep, although that was a commodity in short supply. We were pushed beyond our physical strength and in all truth Adam was not getting stronger. At one point one of the drains fell out and we had to go back down to get it replaced. When you are doing several IV antibiotics and tube feedings making a 5 hour round trip to the hospital isn't very fun. <b>None</b> of the care or the experience for Adam was remotely pleasant. But together we did it. Our kids came home over the weekend to help and Katrina was here most of the time since she had withdrawn from the summer class she had planned to take. Those dressing changes were the hardest on all of us but most of all on Adam. It took so much time, many hands, and was so messy. He needed help just standing up next to the bed. It was very physically demanding for all of us. It lasted 10 days.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">June 8, 2015--Monday</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Early in the morning Craig told me that Adam's temp had been 100 a couple hours previously. When I checked it again it was 101. We were required to report it to Home Health if it went over 100. So we did and they told us to call the doctors at KU. The doctors said to bring him back to the hospital. We called an ambulance and our local crew took us to our Sabetha hospital where they evaluated him before sending him in yet another ambulance to go back to KU. I got to ride with him but it wasn't a fun experience for him and he was not happy about going back in the first place. There was a lot of road construction and it was a long, bumpy ride. Once we got back to Unit 64 it felt like Craig and I could breathe again. So much stress was lifted off of our shoulders to know that professionals were back to caring for our beloved son. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Later in that week a person came into the room to check something which now I can't remember and she was alerted by something and called for a special team (I can't remember what the code was called) to come in and check on Adam. <b>Immediately </b> the room started to fill with people who were from ICU and were doing all kinds of tests on him. Adam had drifted back to sleep from pain meds and when he awoke the room was filled with people in special gowns crawling all over him with different tests. He looked at us and asked "am I dying?" What a horrible way to be woken up. Later the floor nurses told us that it was kind of an overreaction on the person's part to call for the alert but it sure did scare all of us. By the end of that week we were told that Adam had 2 blood clots. Thank goodness we were back in the hospital where they could detect them! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">They started talking surgery again around this time and deep in my gut I had a BAD feeling about surgery. Every time they mentioned a possible time I felt as though they were telling me the day my son would die. It just didn't feel right. But they were gearing up for that it seemed so I called my sister. She had wanted to know when they were doing surgery so she could bring my mom out and they could both see him prior to surgery. We made sure the other kids came to see him too because honestly, I really felt like surgery equaled death. Craig had the same bad feeling. But it seemed as though there were not any other options to <b>try</b> to get him better. Through surgery they could go in and clean out some of the infection through a "washing" technique and try to take out any dead pancreatic tissue while they were in there. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Once again the surgeon came in and told us that he felt it was far too risky to do surgery even though the main doc had really been pushing it. I felt so much better knowing it wasn't going to happen. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">By the third week of June our frustration had grown along with everyone involved as to how to make healing go better for Adam. We asked for specific things to be prayed for and within 24 hours we got answers. Craig had been constantly asking the doctors why they couldn't do something more efficient to get the dreaded infection out more cleanly and with more volume. Then our infectious disease doctor, main doctor and the nurses came up with the idea to try to "pull" fluid directly from the drains instead of waiting for it to just run into the J-Vacs through gravity and the vacuum suction. The first time they tried it they got 10 times more out in one draw than they had in one 24 hour period previously. Everyone got excited about the new method with the exception of Adam. It was more painful to have the fluid pulled out with a syringe than it was to have it come out through the tube with gravity. But it was working.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Healing was still slow but not AS slow as it had been. Over the month of July they continued this method and some of the pockets of fluid were shrinking! Physical therapy was able to do more as Adam felt some better to get out of bed and move. We still had a long, long way to go to full recovery but we were finally moving in a more positive direction.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Bit by bit, by the final weeks of July they took him off of each antibiotic one at a time for 24 hours to see how his white count looked. It steadily came down after the new method was put into place and his heart rate got some better as well. He had been on heart medicine for a long time now as well as having had at least 3 different sonograms on his heart to check for damage. The high heart rate he had had for so long due to the terrible infection was finally getting a bit better.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> At this point Adam had lost 70 pounds. Over the course of his hospitalization he had had 10 blood transfusions I believe. His strength needed to be renewed a little more before he could get out of the hospital but they were working on that. The feeding tube came out and Adam was able to eat real food for the first time and enjoy it in over 6 months. Watching the dye test that they did to check his duodenum and see it UN-shredded was so wonderful! It was the another miracle among the many we had seen in our lives.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">July 31, 2015</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">We headed home for what we were hoping was the last time in this unending saga. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">We were far from done with all the drains but at least we could be in our own home. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">August 19, 2015</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Adam and I went back to KU to see IR again and also to have that stent put in that was never done all those months ago because of the illness. You can read the details of that day <a href="http://www.lindapolson.blogspot.com/2015/08/unexpected-mercies.html">here</a>. To say that what happened that day was a miracle is an understatement. All of the prognoses that we were given during the course of this illness were pretty negative and time after time God proved us all wrong. He was in control of what was happening, not us. To go from possibly needing a surgery to completely redirect his digestive system to needing NO SURGERY at all is an absolute miracle. From possibly losing his pancreas and becoming a brittle diabetic and possibly also losing kidney function to being healthy again is a MIRACLE. Jesus be praised!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I took care of what I think was the last 4 drains and the many medications here at our house for 4 months. Adam went back to work half days in September and eventually went back full time albeit with all those drains. He began to gain the weight back slowly and he ate almost all the time it seemed. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">When I dropped him off at work that first day in September it was so overwhelmingly wonderful to see him do something so completely normal. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Those 4 months were slow, monotonous, and draining. Neither of us liked getting up at 5 a.m. to do all the things we had to do to get him ready for work. He and I often butted heads. But our hearts were knitted together. No matter what we argued about I truly felt like my son and I were great friends. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">October 21, 2015--Wednesday</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Appointment with IR to examine drains to see if any can be pulled. No go.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Time and again we hoped for all of those dratted drains to get removed but we had to wait. Eventually, one of the last two drains had been looking good for quite a while. One day the J-VAC on it came apart and we didn't have a way here to replace it. Adam made the decision to just take the drain out. He did it and we never heard anything about it. He immediately said he felt better after taking it out. It healed eventually and the doctor never said anything about it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">November 20, 2015--Friday</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Adam and I went back to the interventional radiology department to, hope against hope, get that last drain taken out of him for good. I had high hopes that it would happen because the fluid coming out of his drain for a long time was no longer looking infected. Day after day we had been emptying those drains and measuring the amounts and flushing them with sterile saline fluid. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">They prepped him and got him ready to go back to the procedure. I really thought it would happen but I was cautiously optimistic in front of him because I knew he would be SO disappointed if it didn't come out.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">When they brought him back from the procedure he was still asleep but they told me the good news--the drain was gone. EVERY.SINGLE.DRAIN.WAS.GONE.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Tears of relief and joy filled my eyes. I texted Craig and then I called the medical supply company and told them they could come get the hospital bed and take it away from our house. Finally the symbol of illness would be gone from my dining room!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Once he was mostly awake I told Adam that I wanted to go upstairs and tell the nurses on Unit 64 that he was free and to hug them and tell them thank you once again. We both went upstairs and had a wonderful reunion with those dear people who had become like family over those many long months. And then we got into the car and left that place for what we thought was a very long time.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Until we got a phone call on our way home.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Craig told me that the transplant nurse had contacted him and said we had been supposed to go down and see his doctor before leaving although when I had asked the appointment person about that in October they said no. I also had an email from the transplant nurse herself that had told me we would be coming back <b><i>later</i></b> to see the doc. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">He told me he wasn't going back. Adam went to his own house and stayed that night for the first time in 10 months.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">But then when we got in touch with them later that day we were told that because there was a chance of infection after taking out that drain we would need to do 2 WEEKS of IV antibiotics for good measure. So we lined up for Craig to take Adam down on Sunday to get another PICC line put in and started doing treatments again at our house that night. I had gotten rid of the hospital bed so we had to set up in the room upstairs where Adam had been sleeping. It wasn't as convenient to do IV treatments up there but we managed. Neither he nor I were happy about having to do it but we didn't seem to have a choice.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">So we were back to getting up super early so we could start treatments at 5 a.m. and get him to work on time. Since we live 15 minutes further from his work than he does it was a push. We had to administer 3 bags of IV meds in the evening and 2 bags along with an IV push medication in the morning. It was very stressful for me because we had to do it like before with gravity IV lines instead of a pump which they have at the hospital. Getting those lines air free was very stressful for me because if there was air in the line it could kill him. Nothing like facing trying not to kill your child twice a day for two weeks after what we had already been through!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">We made it through the 2 weeks and the day FINALLY came for Adam to go to the local hospital, get his PICC line removed and be free of medical procedures, hopefully, for good. December 7, 2015 he was finally free of all the "hardware" that he had carried around for almost 11 months.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">You can't imagine how freeing it was for both he and I to have come through it and be done. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">God is good. We are so broken. But God is good!</span><br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/214/2EBC7D6C3CC4D29737129E6D5BEA1FF4.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0;" /></span></a>Lindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14642701364961233975noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882904206500905118.post-21046408737850958042016-01-25T11:23:00.002-06:002016-01-25T11:48:23.173-06:00The Long Way AroundI'm reading through the Bible again this year or at least trying to do it. So I'm starting in Genesis again which is good because our church is about to go on a year long study of the book. <br />
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But I've passed through Genesis already and have gotten into Exodus which is the story of the people of Israel being let go from Pharoah's grasp of slavery and setting out into the journey that God is taking them to His promised land for them.<br />
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It seems like my blog posts about Scripture are always stating the obvious but I guess I'm just a slow learner. Before getting into chapter 13 of Exodus where the people of Israel are about to set off on their journey my Daily Walk Bible has this to say in preface:</div>
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<i style="font-weight: bold;">"</i><b>Insight </b><i>Taking the Scenic Route--<b>Israel's God and Guide (in the form of a cloudy pillar) steered the travelers away from the most direct route to Canaan for at least two reasons: (1) to avoid certain warfare, and (2) to take Israel to the mountain of God(3:12). The nation needed to learn to walk with God before learning to fight for God."</b></i></div>
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Now I KNOW that I've read this before because I've used this study Bible for many years. But, <b>this year</b> it really hit me between the eyes. It has felt like my life this past year has been taking the long way around to the destination where I've wanted to arrive. But God knows best how to get me where I'm going. Maybe you, like me, have taken a route recently that seemed like it was unending and indirect to the destination you had in mind. </div>
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But now I'm seeing that perhaps God needs me to learn to walk more closely with Him before I can fight for Him. The Old Testament may seem to you like just a lot of stories about the Jewish people before the coming of Jesus changed it all. God intended for the Bible to be an all encompassing story of His plan of salvation for all of us. Everything in the Old Testament points to something in the New Testament. It's like a fascinating novel except it is all true and more real than anything we could come up with on our own.</div>
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I'm looking forward to learning how to walk with God so that I can fight for Him.</div>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/214/2EBC7D6C3CC4D29737129E6D5BEA1FF4.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0;" /></a>Lindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14642701364961233975noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882904206500905118.post-89494574687126962842015-12-15T12:17:00.001-06:002016-02-09T09:31:18.768-06:00Christmas 2015<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Here is a little tour of my home at Christmas time. Can't show the basement after another episode of flooding over the weekend. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihPrlS36jItk9G5hyphenhyphenuMm4VLNwp2aMmDyCaCgJtCEq-P6bHiT5WZKDuQXFy-M04u1mpfEzB_VzlA2UWgmNlEG2Z1ICD5HK_sBbPsTDIEHG9ct6z9wg5nQP34TagepY0ITSFFccR2gk-LOM/s1600/P1060094.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihPrlS36jItk9G5hyphenhyphenuMm4VLNwp2aMmDyCaCgJtCEq-P6bHiT5WZKDuQXFy-M04u1mpfEzB_VzlA2UWgmNlEG2Z1ICD5HK_sBbPsTDIEHG9ct6z9wg5nQP34TagepY0ITSFFccR2gk-LOM/s400/P1060094.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Breakfast nook<br /><br /><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMxZ6utbCFQbDw2T8AMKqhrfik-R_s0Y2cTSeiYtv9acV4t5E90_FIRJhBEoWe382qOSwN2aD3o6ExoluIuUeARf4abc5-DCt_-LZ_6ZirAkvqZkABElhbfdLrCDrU2lAEikshGmanlvs/s1600/P1060095.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMxZ6utbCFQbDw2T8AMKqhrfik-R_s0Y2cTSeiYtv9acV4t5E90_FIRJhBEoWe382qOSwN2aD3o6ExoluIuUeARf4abc5-DCt_-LZ_6ZirAkvqZkABElhbfdLrCDrU2lAEikshGmanlvs/s400/P1060095.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Breakfast nook from another angle<br /><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAL-glFdZWYreWhV0rmLibEESar2bTTLPBK1yTBlSwaamDMplwYYev1xFt1JVhJ7mrQ3Kzy3CtaWf65iFRljI80oQ7OsL3whyphenhyphenESa8j9fYPYYxuISWtmDYm9CdRMhm1L5PuR9COSm_Wiks/s1600/P1060096.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAL-glFdZWYreWhV0rmLibEESar2bTTLPBK1yTBlSwaamDMplwYYev1xFt1JVhJ7mrQ3Kzy3CtaWf65iFRljI80oQ7OsL3whyphenhyphenESa8j9fYPYYxuISWtmDYm9CdRMhm1L5PuR9COSm_Wiks/s400/P1060096.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is a lovely gift from my sisters in law.<br /><br /><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7k2Nkbu4jWUaM1rlPHfcPXgFvKDv0mj9NsOs900NNk8bjL7dtXmjm9KsQ_ojK076CXOhcHEcxLi5pjj6vSYPUd2jhoP-_YTV3LnTqIm3dunKtI0-Q-UnizHFD8ho44c2b6ZAKzzUhY18/s1600/P1060097.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7k2Nkbu4jWUaM1rlPHfcPXgFvKDv0mj9NsOs900NNk8bjL7dtXmjm9KsQ_ojK076CXOhcHEcxLi5pjj6vSYPUd2jhoP-_YTV3LnTqIm3dunKtI0-Q-UnizHFD8ho44c2b6ZAKzzUhY18/s400/P1060097.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Two little friends flanking some greenery from my yard.<br /><br /><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2K1IrO2z8tS93JAxl559q7G1OwTtChH-cE7it4xRlmBRPuqaszMk4Li-gHdKz9iJbuJRvzeDT1ttPSKR6yKvy_95WIb-8A_GsKUtSruGXiHm4_t-fB7LXc7_wKyyGzV2RAzerqNPvE1k/s1600/P1060098.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2K1IrO2z8tS93JAxl559q7G1OwTtChH-cE7it4xRlmBRPuqaszMk4Li-gHdKz9iJbuJRvzeDT1ttPSKR6yKvy_95WIb-8A_GsKUtSruGXiHm4_t-fB7LXc7_wKyyGzV2RAzerqNPvE1k/s400/P1060098.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My Christmas village.<br /><br /><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigZmUKNOFoHKU5aNK5DdTH0HlVENgYJgJsNYwiqLGfOAdymTxvgULwNyGs4gbuMhqReCuROVrIhhL0v3QLmJwrkBrbsWbP9VqvpRRz0AsxWqJroPVBS2htD6ihxgKaoQx5BTOIYM534SY/s1600/P1060099.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigZmUKNOFoHKU5aNK5DdTH0HlVENgYJgJsNYwiqLGfOAdymTxvgULwNyGs4gbuMhqReCuROVrIhhL0v3QLmJwrkBrbsWbP9VqvpRRz0AsxWqJroPVBS2htD6ihxgKaoQx5BTOIYM534SY/s400/P1060099.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Gathering room.<br /><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOSjSIBoRkNa-90yV4v-My-hn1gxS290GSbXErPS1z6bRbz9LkepLzS9b3OW4EMyC6j2UDGZ9TfA-ei32JI-RNl9G4WegjiHbDjaCMOvXGc5wSIDzR3OrUTUS3sSoEd1P6XJ1XtzWnFkM/s1600/P1060100.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOSjSIBoRkNa-90yV4v-My-hn1gxS290GSbXErPS1z6bRbz9LkepLzS9b3OW4EMyC6j2UDGZ9TfA-ei32JI-RNl9G4WegjiHbDjaCMOvXGc5wSIDzR3OrUTUS3sSoEd1P6XJ1XtzWnFkM/s400/P1060100.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Main tree.<br /><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dining room.<br /><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Second floor tree.<br /></td></tr>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/214/2EBC7D6C3CC4D29737129E6D5BEA1FF4.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Lindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14642701364961233975noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882904206500905118.post-82602513656040835842015-12-08T12:38:00.000-06:002016-01-20T11:59:50.487-06:00Ready to Say Goodbye to 2015<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">For a while now I've been jokingly (but not totally joking) calling this past year "the year of many bad things".</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Between big things 1)our son being in the hospital for close to 6 months and almost dying and then living with us for another 4 months 2) our basement getting flooded while we were away living in KC at the hospital and getting mold and said mold getting remediated along with new walls, flooring, etc 3) several major appliances and other large items going kaput and needing replaced and just the small things of being exhausted and having to keep up with regular life--it's been quite a year. (As I'm writing this my brand new dishwasher is getting a new drain hose after it blew a hole last week and it has been a long week without it). Oh, and my phone stopped working yesterday too. Waiting for a replacement to be delivered today as well. :)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">So you can imagine that 2016 is looking really, really good right now to me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">This week I'm getting ready to host our Polson extended family Christmas at my house and I can honestly say that things are more organized and eventually will be cleaner than I could have imagined due to all of the work being done this year. Part of that is because I went on an organizing kick while my dining room and one of the upstairs bedrooms were filled with medical stuff and a patient. When you can't do one thing, you CAN do another thing.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">We are cutting back on how many gifts we give our kids this year and only giving them each 3 things: something they want, something they need, and something unexpected. So far I have more shopping done (online shopping rocks!) than I had anticipated so I'm very grateful for that. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The one that I'm not supposed to talk about has moved back to his own home as of 4 days ago and I no longer have to get up at 5 a.m. to face performing a really high pressure medical treatment nor do I have to do it before bed at night. I have to say that normal feels really<i> easy</i>. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Life is not perfect here. But it is getting better and now I need to work on some other areas of my life that I have been neglecting. None of us knows what the future holds. 2016 <i style="font-weight: bold;">could</i> be worse than 2015 but I'm not going to think that way. </span><br />
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<div class="version-TLB result-text-style-normal text-html " style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18.1818px;">
<h1 class="passage-display" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: inherit; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: 500; line-height: 1.1; margin: 0px 0px 20px;">
<span class="passage-display-bcv" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; display: inline; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px; padding-right: 10px;">Philippians 3:13-14</span><span class="passage-display-version" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; display: inline;">Living Bible (TLB)</span></h1>
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<span class="text Phil-3-13" id="en-TLB-26455" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="versenum" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 12px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;">13 </span>No, dear brothers, I am still not all I should be, but I am bringing all my energies to bear on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, </span><span class="text Phil-3-14" id="en-TLB-26456" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="versenum" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 12px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;">14 </span>I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God is calling us up to heaven because of what Christ Jesus did for us.</span></div>
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<strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/versions/The-Living-Bible-TLB/" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #b34b2c; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;">Living Bible</a> (TLB)</strong></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I hope as you are anticipating the celebration of the birth of Christ on Christmas you will remember that He came so we COULD say goodbye to the past and embrace the future.</span><br />
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<a class="bible-item-title" href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Corinthians+5:8&version=TLB" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; background: transparent; box-sizing: border-box; color: #b34b2c; cursor: pointer; display: inline-block; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-decoration: none;">1 Corinthians 5:8</a></div>
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So let us feast upon him and grow strong in the Christian life, <b style="box-sizing: border-box;">leaving</b> entirely <b style="box-sizing: border-box;">behind</b> us the cancerous old life with all its hatreds and wickedness. Let us feast instead upon the pure bread of honor and sincerity and truth.</div>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/214/2EBC7D6C3CC4D29737129E6D5BEA1FF4.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Lindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14642701364961233975noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882904206500905118.post-51481856785367731432015-11-21T10:31:00.000-06:002016-01-20T11:59:50.455-06:00"A Better Broken"<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">As I write this post, I am crying. I'm crying tears of hope because I just finished reading a book that I should have finished a couple weeks ago, or whenever it was I got it, but I just finished right now.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I'm also crying because I'm so broken by all the events and circumstances of my life for the past 10 months as well as the last 24 hours. If you follow me on social media you know that yesterday my son got his last drain removed which brought us inexpressible joy and relief. I walked out of that hospital with so much weight of life taken off my shoulders and I can't imagine how much my son felt with that weight removed.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">But before we even got home we got a phone call which let us know that our journey wasn't <i style="font-weight: bold;">quite</i> over. I won't go into it here because it is just an asterisk on top of our whole journey thus far. We will get through it. Together, we will get through it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">But the book, yes, about the book.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">This isn't truly a book review but more like a book recommendation. As I said, I started reading the book <u>When God Doesn't Fix It</u> by Laura Story a couple weeks ago. Laura's music is a favorite of mine and I've written about her before <a href="http://lindapolson.blogspot.com/2015/06/make-something-beautiful.html">here</a>. So I got the book for several reasons-- among them that I love her music, I knew a bit of her story, and the title describes my life perfectly during this season. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">So I devoured the first 3/4 of the book quickly and for a reason I couldn't put my finger on I just didn't pick it up and finish it until yesterday.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> God is SO good. </span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Because the part of the book I've read since yesterday has really been just what I needed in this 24 hour period. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">In Chapter 19, Laura writes about "A Better Broken" which speaks to me so deeply in my heart I cannot even express it here. Over the last many months I have been trudging through the sand of my own brokenness and feeling like it would never be resolved. It probably won't. That should be really awful news. But reading the last several chapters of Laura's book made me realize that there is a purpose in my brokenness. Of course I already knew that, but it kind of needs reinforcing daily to remember it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">She talks about the apostle Paul and how God dealt with his "thorn in the flesh" about which we are never told specifically what the source was in his life. On page 267 she writes that God told Paul <b>'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."(2 Corinthians 12:9). </b>Her response is this:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">page 267, <u>When God Doesn't Fix It, </u> Laura Story</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I sort of want to put several more quotes from the book here but I won't. It is my hope that you will read the book yourself and see how it applies to YOUR brokenness. Yes. We are all broken because the world was cursed by sin in the Garden and we are all sinful creatures. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">But God doesn't allow us to live in our brokenness for nothing. He doesn't PUT brokenness in our lives but it happens because we live in a sin filled world. But God is a Redeemer, not just of our sins, but of our lives. He can and will redeem the brokenness in us to "make Him the hero of our stories" as Laura puts it, and to point others to Him. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Please, please, if you are a human person you need to read this book. You can get it <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0718036972?keywords=when%20god%20doesn%27t%20fix%20it%20laura%20story&qid=1448123237&ref_=sr_1_1&s=books&sr=1-1">here</a> and start to see how God can give you a "better broken" when He doesn't fix something that you so desperately want fixed.</span></div>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/214/2EBC7D6C3CC4D29737129E6D5BEA1FF4.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Lindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14642701364961233975noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882904206500905118.post-2791425036211486282015-11-12T09:20:00.000-06:002016-01-20T13:02:13.717-06:00Faking It <span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">A friend shared this article with me the other day and it really resonated with me. It is called <u>23 Truths People With Fibromyalgia Wish Others Understood</u> and you can read the whole thing <a href="http://themighty.com/2015/11/23-truths-people-with-fibromyalgia-wish-others-understood/">here</a>. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I always hesitate to talk about my fibromyalgia because, quite frankly, I know that nobody wants to hear about it. For heaven's sake my own family doesn't even get it. I've had it for over 20 years and when I am having a bad day I can say "I'm not feeling well today" and they say to me "Oh, what is going on?" I've learned to just let that pass and not get upset about it because I can't change other people. And I'll admit here that I can be the same way with other people and their issues. Nobody<i> really</i> wants to hear us complain about our aches and pains. I get it. And I realize that is rich coming from someone who has made it her only topic of discussion for the past almost year to write about someone's health issues. I guess I figured when it was my kid I got a pass. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">If you actually went and read the link that I posted you read some quotes from actual people suffering from fibromyalgia and they mostly all resonate with me. But two of them really stood out to me:</span><br />
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<span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "lato" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-weight: 700; line-height: 24px;">3.</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> “It’s always there. Even though I may act ‘normal,’ I still hurt.” — </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/fmaware/posts/10153070441161433?comment_id=10153070846981433&offset=200&total_comments=250&comment_tracking=%7B%22tn%22%3A%22R4%22%7D" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #cc1414; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 100ms linear;" target="_blank">DeJarnett Sharon</a></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "lato" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-weight: 700; line-height: 24px;">6.</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"> “You think I’m faking being sick, but really I’m faking being well.” — </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/fmaware/posts/10153070441161433?comment_id=10153070679306433&offset=50&total_comments=250&comment_tracking=%7B%22tn%22%3A%22R9%22%7D" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #cc1414; font-family: Lato, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; text-decoration: none; transition: all 100ms linear;" target="_blank">Becky Buice</a></div>
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<span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">These two statements are true for people suffering from many autoimmune diseases so they don't just apply to me. These two quotes really struck me because not only are we not feeling well but we have to <i style="font-weight: bold;">act</i> differently from what we are feeling all the time just so we don't make other people aware of what we are feeling. Let me tell you, THAT is also exhausting. </span></span><br />
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<span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The statement by Becky Buice really hit home with me because I would venture to guess that most everybody I know has no idea that I'm "faking being well" most every day of my life. I'm not saying that to make anyone feel sorry for me, truly. It's just that you never know what someone is going through.</span></span><br />
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<span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">There are many activities in life that I would love to be a part of to help others and to serve in ways that I probably will never be able to because of how my body feels. I've learned to know my limitations and am finally learning how to let it go when I feel guilty for not doing something that I really, really want to do for someone. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">It is very possible that any internal voice that I hear telling me that I am a bad person for not signing up for some committee or doing something in my community is just my own guilt and has nothing to do with other people. But I do wonder sometimes if people just think I am lazy. I'm not.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">I will say that I have felt so much better after changing a diet issue a couple years ago. But stress is a huge factor in how the body feels with fibromyalgia so right now I've been having a pain and fatigue flare for more than a month. This year has finally caught up with me now just when things are starting to settle down a bit. (Our son is still living with us and we are still doing things to take care of him).</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">I hope that this has been informative for people who have others that they love or know who suffer in silence while they fake being well every day. Cut them a little slack. Encourage them to go lie down and rest. Or just say 'I'm sorry you are having a hard time' instead of asking them what is wrong if they say they don't feel well. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">I have a quote up on the cabinet above my desk and it is ascribed to someone but when I look it up there are many people listed who are credited with saying it so I'll just post it without an author:</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><span style="line-height: 24px;">"<b>Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."</b></span></span><br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/214/2EBC7D6C3CC4D29737129E6D5BEA1FF4.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Lindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14642701364961233975noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882904206500905118.post-76882095903729020962015-11-06T13:24:00.001-06:002016-01-20T11:59:50.474-06:00Merciful IgnoranceMaybe I am strange, but every once in a while I go back through my social media profile and remind myself of where I have been and where I am now. <br />
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It occurred to me that some of my newer friends don't know anything about what has been going on in our lives so I scrolled through the past 10 months to see what others would see. Reminiscing is truly a good practice to engage in from time to time because it gives us<i> perspective</i>.<br />
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When I went all the way back to last February and saw some of the things that I wrote it almost made me laugh because it seemed like we had been dealing with illness for so long at one month, 6 weeks, etc. It seems a little ridiculous now to say "we've been here at the hospital for a whole month already". If I had only know what the future would bring. But thank you Jesus that I did NOT. <br />
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As a young person I always wanted to get a little peak into what my future might hold--what job would I have, who would I marry, where would I live, how many children would I have and what would they be like? Our culture urges us to be always thinking two steps ahead of ourselves so we can keep up with the status quo or be somehow ever more successful than we are in the moment. <br />
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But God in His infinite wisdom has graciously given us <b><i>merciful ignorance</i></b> for a good reason. <br />
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The things we have to deal with in life are so hard and crushing OR so joyful and delightful that our souls could not take it if we had to "plan" for it. <br />
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This week Adam's car stopped working, we are finally getting the new floor put down in our basement and I told one of my kids in a conversation that this was "the year of bad things". How could I have ever dealt with ANY of this year if I had known it was coming. <br />
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I truly believe that is one of the reasons God gave us grace. Grace is what gets us through in the moment. It is never early but also never late. It comes just when we need it so that we depend on God to get us through both the good and the bad. <br />
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The other incredible reality that I saw when I perused my life over the past 10 months was the amazing support of friends and family. I laughed and I cried as I reread many of the words of love and support given to me and my family through this very difficult year. There are no words of thanks that could ever be enough but I still say thank you. <br />
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None of us knows what tomorrow will bring. Thank the Lord for merciful ignorance and great friends!!!<br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/214/2EBC7D6C3CC4D29737129E6D5BEA1FF4.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Lindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14642701364961233975noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882904206500905118.post-80292469714259486292015-10-14T06:35:00.000-06:002016-01-20T11:59:50.484-06:00My One Defense<div style="text-align: center;">
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<b><i>Oh, God, how I need You.</i></b></div>
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This morning I turned to a couple passages in the Bible that our pastor suggested reading throughout this week to bring home the message he had for us last Sunday. There were many jewels to be mined from them but the words that <span style="background-color: yellow;">stood</span> out to me <b>for</b> me this day were GRACE and REST. <br />
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Hebrews 3 and 4 are passages about how necessary it is to listen to God's voice TODAY and to not harden your hearts.<br />
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<b>"Be careful then, dear brothers and sisters. Make sure that your own hearts are not evil and unbelieving, turning you away from the living God. You must warn each other every day, as long as it is called "today," so that none of you will be deceived by sin and hardened against God."</b></div>
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<b>Hebrews 3:12,13</b></div>
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Within the passage prior to those verses is a quote from Psalm 95, the other passage he recommended. <br />
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<b>"Today you must listen to his voice. Don't harden your hearts against him..."</b></div>
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<b>Hebrews 3:7</b></div>
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It is teaching us to not be like the Israelites who were testing God's patience in the desert as He led them to the Promised Land. Over and over again it says not to harden our hearts so that we can enter into God's rest. </div>
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<b>"But never forget the warning: 'Today you must listen to his voice. Don't harden your hearts against him as Israel did when they rebelled'."</b></div>
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<b>Hebrews 3:15</b></div>
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Those who didn't harden their hearts entered into God's rest. <br />
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<b>"So God's rest is there for people to enter. But those who formerly heard the Good News failed to enter because they disobeyed God. So God set another time for entering his place of rest, and that time is today. God announced this through David a long time later in the words already quoted:</b></div>
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<b>'Today you must listen to his voice. Don't harden your hearts against him'."</b></div>
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<b>Hebrews 4:6,7</b></div>
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If you know anything about God's Word you know that if God repeats a word or phrase often that it is <b>very </b>important. </div>
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Here's where I found hope.</div>
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<b>"This new place of rest was not the land of Canaan, where Joshua led them. If it had been, God would not have spoken later about another day of rest. So there is a special rest still waiting for the people of God. For all who enter into God's rest will find rest from their labors, just as God rested after creating the world. Let us do our best to enter that place of rest. For anyone who disobeys God, as the people of Israel did, will fall."</b></div>
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<b>Hebrews 4:8-11</b></div>
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Interestingly enough, from here God seemingly goes into another direction:</div>
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<b>"For the word of God is full of living power. It is sharper than the sharpest knife, cutting deep into our innermost thoughts and desires. It exposes us for what we really are. Nothing in all creation can hide from him. Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes. This is the God to whom we must explain all that we have done."</b></div>
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<b>Hebrews 4:12-13</b></div>
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I don't know about you, but if everything about me is going to be exposed to God that doesn't feel very restful. That feels very vulnerable and uncomfortable. Earlier in chapter 4 it says that the Good News is that God has prepared a place of rest. But being exposed doesn't seem very restful and certainly doesn't seem like good news. I can identify with this. </div>
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In this journey we have been on for the past 8 plus months NOTHING has felt restful and everything about us has been exposed. In our home we are completely real and raw and uncomfortably exposed to one another emotionally. It is NOT restful. </div>
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This morning I feel completely drained and not very gracious or rested. But God's warnings from chapter 3 of Hebrews resonate with me. "Be careful". "Don't harden your hearts". "Today you must listen to his voice." </div>
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Then He hits me with that whole cutting deep into our innermost thoughts and desires and exposing me for who I really am thing and I feel like I want to give up. </div>
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But then there is this:</div>
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<b>"That is why we have a great High Priest who has gone to heaven, Jesus the Son of God. Let us cling to him and never stop trusting him. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same temptations we do, yet he did not sin.</b></div>
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<b>So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it."</b></div>
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<b>Hebrews 4:14-16</b></div>
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Ahhhhhhhhh. </div>
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The words at the beginning of this post are from the song <u>Lord, I Need You</u> by Matt Maher, Jesse, Reeves, Kristian Stanfill, Christy Nockels and Daniel Carson. The words <b><i> "my one defense, my righteousness, Oh, God how I need you"</i></b> from this song have played over and over again in my mind and heart for many months as I truly needed them. They are kind of a song picture of these Scriptures from today. </div>
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The only place I can find my rest. The only place where grace is more than the sin that runs deep in me. Lord, I need You.</div>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/214/2EBC7D6C3CC4D29737129E6D5BEA1FF4.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Lindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14642701364961233975noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882904206500905118.post-56100978107407285232015-10-08T06:18:00.003-06:002016-01-20T13:02:33.343-06:00Old Fashioned Words<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Due to the advent of the internet and just the world of visual images being a continual presence in our lives, more people have fallen in love with some of the old classic literature. I know I have. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Movies like Pride and Prejudice, Persuasion, Sense and Sensibility, Jane Eyre, and other similar titles have brought old literature alive for this generation of people who may have never read the books by the same name. I love these movies and many more like them because they have wonderful stories which depict people from another epoch of time where manners and culture were much different from ours. Even their language was much different from ours today. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But there is more than one thing we can learn from enjoying these gems of yesteryear.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Today I was reading a devotional that used a word that I often hear in those favorite movies of mine: <b><i>constancy</i></b>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">You don't hear that word much these days and I think it is a shame that we don't use it because maybe if we did there would be more of it. Constancy I mean.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">You see in those grand old stories that word was used to determine if someone was worthy of friendship, business, courtship or marriage. It was a very important component to understanding if a person could be depended upon to ride out the storms of life's ups and downs. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Imagine if our world used that as a measuring stick today. Would our relationships in family, friends, work and marriage be better? Not just because we used the word but if we truly lived it out. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Sarah Young uses it in today's selection in her book <u>Jesus Calling:</u> "The human mind cannot comprehend God's constancy." (name mine)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Our world, our <b>culture</b>, has forgotten what benefits this quality calls into existence because we have become a society of <i>inconstancy</i>. Nothing lasts anymore. We throw away everything even if it is not disposable. I know this because my generation throws away things that my parents' generation would have saved or fixed for decades. I'm not saying that everything <i>should</i> be saved or fixed but the mindset of throwing things away is damaging to our hearts. Because of this mindset we throw away relationships just like we do old bread wrappers.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Hebrews 18:8b says:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>"For God has said, 'I will never fail you. I will never forsake you'."</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Going on to verses 8 and 9a:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. so do not be attracted by strange, new ideas. Your spiritual strength comes from God's special favor" </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Jeremiah 31:3 says:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>"I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. with unfailing love I have drawn you to myself."</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Exodus 15:13:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>"With unfailing love you will lead this people whom you have ransomed. You will guide them in your strength to the place where your holiness dwells."</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Deuteronomy 33:26,27</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>"There is no one like the God of Israel. He rides across the heavens to help you, across the skies in majestic splendor. The eternal God is your refuge and his everlasting arms are under you."</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Can you think of anyone in your life today who can do that? Certainly we love our children and our spouses with fierce love but NO ONE can compare to Jesus when it comes to true constancy. There are no other arms that are everlasting. Eventually everyone we love will die or be incapable of holding us up. But not God.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Today I'm going to go through my day thinking about constancy and being thankful for all the old fashioned words that don't need to be considered old fashioned if we choose to live them.</span></div>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/214/2EBC7D6C3CC4D29737129E6D5BEA1FF4.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Lindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14642701364961233975noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882904206500905118.post-77075050593972922472015-10-06T07:21:00.001-06:002016-01-20T11:59:50.478-06:00The Gift<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">It has been there now for almost 10 months. Just lying there for me to read and it had become almost forgotten. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">The gift.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Last Christmas Craig and I got an envelope from Adam that was to be our gift for the season. He had not been able to come up with anything tangible to give us so he gave us this envelope.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">You can see that it has become almost lost amidst the receipts, boxes and other miscellaneous stuff on our closet shelf. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">But I see it every single day. Most days it has reminded me that we have not been able to redeem it. Inside it says:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Mom/Dad</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's always tough figuring out what you guys want since you strategically don't tell us. This is good for a dinner at Texas Roadhouse (or Willows if that's what you want) on any date of your choosing FREE OF CHARGE [NO GOING EASY ON THE MENU] :) We all appreciate and love you both very much.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">As I said, most days I see it I am reminded that it has not come to pass and it has made me sad. But the past few days it has gotten me thinking differently.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I realized last night as I was flushing Adam's drains for the umpteenth time since bringing him home from the hospital that without realizing it and not intending it Adam has given us a completely different gift. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">He has given us the gift of taking care of him and loving him all these long 8 months. Now, to be sure, I haven't always seen it as a gift. There have been many, many days that being in those different hospital rooms, intensive care units, seeing him being placed in a helicopter and riding in the ambulance with him did not feel like a gift. Don't get me wrong. It has been extremely hard and sometimes felt overwhelmingly impossible. And there have certainly been days that he hasn't been the easiest person to love, to care for and to serve. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">But this experience has changed us and that is the part of the gift. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I have spent more time with him than I ever would have had this never happened. Sure I have seen things I never wanted to see but it has brought us closer and bonded us in a way that probably nothing else could have done. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">We have seen more of our other kids than we would have otherwise and that has been a blessing along with them spending time together loving and serving a brother even when it was difficult and sacrificial. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">It has helped me to put aside my selfishness and to realize that even though I don't want to do a particular thing sometimes I must do it for the good of someone that I love. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> This is life.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> Of course, this isn't the first time in my life that I've had to do this but it has been good and needed. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">You can be sure that I'm never going to get rid of that envelope! It will forever remind me that it is the people we love who are the greatest gifts and not the things they give us.</span><br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/214/2EBC7D6C3CC4D29737129E6D5BEA1FF4.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Lindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14642701364961233975noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882904206500905118.post-1295397784528476612015-09-18T13:08:00.003-06:002016-01-20T11:59:50.403-06:00How Could I Forget?<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Today is kind of a big day in our lives and I almost forgot about it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Last night while I was flushing Adam's drains very late in the evening he mentioned that today was the day. So many emotions came rushing back to me. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It was 17 years ago TODAY that we drove to KU Med and checked him in to get a liver transplant. This morning I looked at the clock at 9:35 and realized that was about the time all those years ago when we were driving and God just HIT me with the realization that I needed to pray for the donor family right then. I found out later that it was almost the exact time that they were "procuring the organ". ( Medical speak is so dehumanizing.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Every other year I have remembered this day and anticipated it's arrival. I guess my mind is still so numb from the past seven months that it evaded me. I really don't know how it did because every single morning I get up and start a new sheet of paper for the day with the date at the top in order to record all of the meds given and the flushing amounts/drain empties for the doctors. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Nevertheless, today is the day of so many memories which at times seems so surreal--as if it were someone else experiencing them. And now we have the events of the past months to add to it which also seem as if someone else has lived them and we are just reaping the exhaustion from it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I wish I could go and place flowers on the grave of the young woman who gave so much of herself so that others could live normal lives. Her family's day of rememberance for this time is not the same as it is for us. I wish I could wrap my arms around her mother and say thank you in person and let her know that someone out there is remembering her daughter today.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We had a conversation last night about many things, Adam and I. He's having a hard time seeing the good which the rest of us see in these past many months of his suffering but then he is the one who has suffered the most. I remind him that he had 16 and half years of no problems whatsoever. I remind him that he is alive. I try to let him know how difficult it was to watch him suffer and go through so many near death instances these past months and yet to have come through it. But I can't change what he is feeling and that is okay. I can only pray that God will work him through it in his own heart and show him how loved he is by God and by us.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">If you want to read about 17 years ago you can go <a href="http://www.lindapolson.blogspot.com/2010/09/death-part.html">here</a> and <a href="http://www.lindapolson.blogspot.com/2010/09/life-part.html">here.</a></span><br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/214/2EBC7D6C3CC4D29737129E6D5BEA1FF4.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Lindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14642701364961233975noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882904206500905118.post-48353685254807328482015-09-03T09:57:00.000-06:002015-09-03T09:57:10.346-06:00Take A Look, It's In A Book<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Reading takes us to worlds we have never imagined. I've always loved a good book that will take you somewhere that you could not go outside of your imagination--history, autobiography, fiction, even fantasy, surprisingly.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I never thought I would be a person who would enjoy a fantasy/science fiction book but when I read the trilogy of RED, BLACK, and WHITE I fell in love with the writing style of Ted Dekker. He has written dozens of books and I have read many but certainly not a majority of his writings. Usually they are <b>intense</b> with stories that you cannot put down. A couple of his books have been too much for me and I wish I hadn't read them. For instance, there was a follow up/prequel (that alone was hard to understand) to the Trilogy called GREEN that I didn't enjoy AT ALL. But that doesn't diminish Ted's skill as a writer. He can write a thriller that will keep you breathless and not able to put the book down until you are finished. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It has been a few years since I have read anything that was written by Dekker. A couple years ago I discovered the wonder of audio books. It started with a desire to help my daughter who struggles with reading and enjoying it. I was reading books to her myself to help her comprehension but I would get sleepy and start yawning and my voice would tire. Then I decided to look into audio books. Since I have a membership with Amazon Prime I decided to try audible.com for her. It has helped stories in good books to come alive for her in a way that I could not have done. But <i><b>I</b></i> got hooked too. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I bought a few books on CD to have in my car for long drives alone and thoroughly enjoyed them. Book Radio used to be a favorite of mine on XM radio in my car while driving but for some unknown reason XM took them off their repertoire. Having really enjoyed getting to listen to new and interesting books and stories in the car and at home I really missed it when it was gone.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">About a year and a half ago I finally left the stone age of technology and got my first smart phone. Suddenly, I could take my love of reading with me in the form of an audible app. I love it!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I "purchased" the book A.D. 30 a few months ago and didn't start "reading" (listening to) it until a long time after. The first 10 or so chapters were good but didn't have me hooked, so to speak. I think I had too much on my mind to truly enjoy it. But then one day while I was sewing I played the book again and really got into the story more deeply. I feel like it is the best Ted Dekker book I have ever read and I am not alone. If you go to some of the reviews on the book other people think so as well.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It is the story of a woman from Arabia whose life fascinatingly intersects with a man she is introduced to as a mystic whose name is Yeshua, or as we know Him, Jesus. I'm still listening to the book and I truly don't want it to end which is what a good book does when it captures your imagination. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I would highly recommend you read this book. Or better yet, LISTEN to it on audible. The woman who "reads" the book (which is really more of a dramatic performance) is part of what is making this book so intriguing as she truly feels like the voice of the character whom she is portraying. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This morning I looked online to see what new books I have missed by Ted and I see that he has a sequel to this book that is coming out in October called A.D. 33. My heart leapt with joy to see this. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">If you haven't had a true adventure for a while, whether in real life or through reading, take a look in a good book!</span><br />
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<iframe width="320" height="266" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/bbw74EkbmHw/0.jpg" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/bbw74EkbmHw?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/214/2EBC7D6C3CC4D29737129E6D5BEA1FF4.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Lindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14642701364961233975noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882904206500905118.post-41475598866388240902015-08-24T21:37:00.000-06:002016-01-20T11:59:50.442-06:00Broken HallelujahsWhat is written in the following paragraphs will be a mulling over of my heart. This very public forum for my very private thoughts may not make much sense to someone else, but may be more of an exercise of my inner contemplation. You have been warned.<br />
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The weather is so fresh and cool here for this time of year. I guess it is going to be September in a week but that seems so crazy. Last night and tonight I went out and took a walk--not very far and certainly not enough to make a difference in my health. But it felt so good to be outside and to be silent while my mind tries to sort out so much brokenness from the past many months.<br />
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Many times I have bragged to people how I cannot see even one of my neighbors' houses from my house. I certainly do like that about living where we live in the countryside of hilly eastern Kansas. During the past several months though it has felt somewhat lonely, not so much in my neighborhood, but in my soul. I'm not really sure any human could stand to deal with all of the thoughts, concerns and flaws that are warring in my brain most days. So I take them to Jesus often. Other times I eat my cares in the form of a favorite food. I know. It feels like the worst kind of sin because there is no way to hide it. On other days, I hide myself in front of the computer and just try to read my way through not dealing with all that is in my heart and mind.<br />
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Right now I think I can <i>almost</i> empathize with parents who have lost their child to death. That seems very bold to declare and if I am way off base please call me on it. We've been through such a long and weary road of difficulty. I'm sure that most people think we are near the end of our trevail and they have gotten busy with their lives <i>as they should</i>. <br />
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School has started. Summer activities are put aside for the more serious business of work, studying and family life.<br />
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Everyday I get up and am reminded that my 27 year old son is living in my dining room. We still do all the pill taking and wound dressing and drain flushing. A nurse still comes by a couple times a week to draw blood. Strangers still come in and out of my house to do physical therapy and occupational therapy. We will be making our third trip, in as many weeks as we have been home, back to see doctors in that place where so many unhappy memories lie. <br />
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It is lonely. <br />
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And it makes me think of a friend who lost her husband not quite 2 months ago. Or the sweet family who lost their precious toddler boy just a couple weeks ago. Not to mention my neighbor whose husband died suddenly soon after they moved into their home just up the hill from me years ago. <br />
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I think, 'What can I do for them?' I can barely haul my tired self into bed each night". <br />
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But here is what I can do. When I see them I can ask them to tell me what they miss most about their loved one. I can<b> remember</b> that the person that is missing from their lives <i style="font-weight: bold;">lived</i> and <b>loved them</b> and that I haven't forgotten that it has left a huge hole in their lives. Because if you feel like everyone else has moved on and you are still in that place of heartbreak and exhaustion it is so lonely. <br />
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Maybe that is the very lesson I needed to learn in all of this. <br />
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My heart aches for my son. He longs to be back at work, go out to eat, even just to go anywhere besides the hospital. To see people other than doctors, therapists or nurses and especially his parents! And most of all, I want him to be missed by others. That sounds so needy. But I know that is what people who have lost loved ones want as well. To know that their family member is missed and remembered.<br />
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This is just one of the many thoughts jumbling around in my heart and my brain these days.<br />
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I heard a song Sunday morning on the way to church called Broken Hallelujahs. It ministered to me because I want so much to praise God through everything but I struggle. I've had the sacred privilege of leading worship with our church's band for some years now. When I sit at that keyboard and sing with the congregation I long for them and for me to meet God somehow in the music, the quiet, or the message of the morning's service.<br />
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But I realize that many of us there, perhaps <i>most</i> of us are like one-winged birds who are longing to fly into the heart of God in worship. Some weeks all we can offer Him are broken hallelujahs. <br />
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That's where I am in my life right now. Aside from the trials of Adam's illness I have other things going on in my life, too. They are all my broken hallelujahs. <br />
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I'm thankful that whatever I offer to God--He can make into something I could never dream about. I guess I'll go to bed and try to let Him sort it out.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Psalm 139:1-18, 23,24</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">O LORD, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my every thought when far away.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">You chart the path ahead of me and tell me where to stop and rest.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Every moment you know where I am. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">You know what I am going to say even before I say it, LORD.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">You both precede and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to know!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I can never escape your spirit! I can never get away from your presence!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the place of the dead, you are there.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I could ask the darkness to hide me and the light around me to become night--but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Darkness and light are both alike to you.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Your workmanship is marvelous--and how well I know it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">You saw me before I was born.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Every day of my life was recorded in your book.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">How precious are your thoughts about me, O God!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">They are innumerable!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I can't even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">And when I wake in the morning, you are still with me!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.</span></div>
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<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/214/2EBC7D6C3CC4D29737129E6D5BEA1FF4.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Lindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14642701364961233975noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882904206500905118.post-29781230094656911632015-08-20T07:05:00.001-06:002016-01-20T11:59:50.426-06:00Unexpected Mercies<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Yesterday was a HUGE day for countless reasons.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Tuesday evening Adam and I headed out for the big city in order to be able to get up extremely early and be at the hospital by 7 a.m. on Wednesday. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We arrived at the admissions office a little early and got checked in fairly soon. They sent us to the wrong clinic first so once we filled out a little paper work for that one we headed up to IR. I'm not sure if it is a good or bad feeling when the nurse who comes to the waiting room for you knows you by first name and your son acknowledges him by name as well. Actually, it was kind of comforting to me to know that all of the staff in IR know him well and care about him in a sense.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The nurse who was checking us in yesterday was the same nurse that Adam had in IR the very first time we ever went down there with him to get work done while he was hospitalized. Who could forget her? She is a soft spoken, kind person who treats you so professionally as well as with loving care. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We jumped right in to the plan of the day for their particular procedures and we began the litany of staff telling us what orders they had and the two of us responding with what we were told we were going to have done. Those two scenarios don't always match. It didn't seem as though the drains would all be coming out according to her account and that caused some consternation in both of us.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">An IV team person was brought in to start his IV and let's just say it didn't go well. It has been terribly hard for nurses to get a needle in Adam's veins since coming home. His veins are tough from months of medications and his body is so depleted of nutrition that it is just extremely hard to get a good stick. The team member decided to give him a break and left the room. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In the meantime, a resident doctor from GI kept coming in (at least 3 times) and asked us to give consent to them doing an ERCP when it came time for us to go down to the endoscopy clinic. Each time he came in and asked us for consent we both said NO. You see, the ERCP procedure is the very one that gave Adam pancreatitis in the first place so we were prepared to say no to that no matter what. Plus, at one point in his hospitalization I remember a conversation with a nurse who had told me "oh, he will never have one of those again." </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Well, <b> both</b> Dr. G and Dr. O came down eventually and explained to us that the procedure would be called an ERC and that it would somehow be different which I will not go into here. So with trepidation and my heart begging God to please help us, we had him sign the consent. He had to do it prior to his other procedures as he would be heavily sedated and after that he would not legally be able to consent.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Another IV team member came in and put an IV in while nurse R finished telling Adam what drugs he could expect during the procedure and when. At one point, Adam and I had had some "words" with each other and with the difficulty of the IV going in and watching him suffer I was crying a bit. At that point God really stepped in for me. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We were about to send him back and R had said she would personally go into the procedure with Adam and take care of his medications as he needed them best even though she was not really scheduled to do that. At that point she asked us softly, "Would you be okay if I said a prayer for you?" <b>OH. MY. YES</b>. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I had wanted to pray for him before he went back but my emotions were already frazzled and I didn't feel I could do it on my own. God stepped in and used R to give both Adam and I comfort and to ask Jesus to be with us.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And off he went.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">During that procedure they took out the very uncomfortable final back drain, repositioned the two front ones and took out the biliary drain leaving a wire for the GI docs to work with later. They also did a thoracentesis which is putting a needle through his back and into his right lung to draw out fluid. They removed 2 liters from his right lung.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Before he was fully awake and around noon (which was our appointed time for his ERC) the nurse from endoscopy came down and transported him up to their clinic. Of course before this happened they had already done two chest X rays in his bed to see if the thoracentesis was successful.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">After consultation with the nurse anesthestist and the anestheisiologist he was taken back for his second round of procedures around 12:30. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I got a snack and went outside to sit for a while and walked around a bit while I waited. My dear, lifelong friend Sheila was texting me throughout the day and made it so much better than being "alone". I finally decided to go back to the waiting area and sat in there for a while more. It took about 2 hours and all of a sudden I heard a page that said "Dr. XXXXXXX XXXXXX please call #### STAT." Then it was repeated. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My heart dropped. Was there something going wrong? Why would Dr. O page him during the procedure. I threw God some desperate prayers. Then before I knew it, Dr. G came bounding into the waiting area and said that they were <b>not </b>going to put a stent in after all because it wasn't needed, etc. and then off he went. (That is how he always operates.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Then a couple minutes later, Dr. O was standing next to me and asked me to come out into the hallway to talk with him. I was a bit worried but figured he was going to tell me they were done in private. Then he told me the most amazing thing. He said, "We went to put in a stent into the bile duct but when we looked in there, the duct was already the right size. In fact it is bigger than if I had put a stent into it. I can't explain it. The stricture has disappeared. I don't know what happened. I don't know what made that happen." </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> I said, "Maybe it was God." </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">He said, "Maybe. I just don't know how to explain it. And I don't think he will get pancreatitis." I assured him that I didn't think so either even though deep inside I was really hoping and praying that we were both right.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">After a bit more of a wait they came and got me and I waited with Adam back in recovery for a couple more hours until he felt he could travel. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We stopped on the way home and he got a crispy chicken sandwich from Arby's and ate it all happily with no bad results. Praise Jesus!!!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">South of Sabetha we met Craig in a parking lot and Adam got in with him and headed home while I went on to worship band practice. When I got home late I got Adam's wounds all redressed where he needed it, flushed his drains and got him set to sleep and went to bed myself well after midnight. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It was a day of many things, but for me there were several unexpected mercies, not the least of which was the miracle of my son not needing a stent and therefore probably not needing any surgery when in the past months things were certainly more bleak looking in regard to his health.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Thank you, Jesus, for your daily unexpected mercies! They are new every morning!</span><br />
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Thank you, Friends, for your faithful prayers! We love you!<br />
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<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/214/2EBC7D6C3CC4D29737129E6D5BEA1FF4.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Lindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14642701364961233975noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5882904206500905118.post-57800510529113109262015-08-14T08:10:00.001-06:002016-01-20T11:59:50.460-06:00Just So Thankful<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Wednesday mid-afternoon we got a call from the liver transplant nurse at KU saying that Adam needed to go down the next day and see his doctor because some of his liver numbers were up and wonky. Stressed? YES! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Our regular appointment that had been set up when we left the hospital was for this coming Monday. "Why can't we just wait until Monday?" I asked. They said they needed to see what was going on right away. Disappointed? YES!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Craig took him down since I had an appointment elsewhere and they left yesterday morning after we did flushes and dressings. I truly felt that it was not going to be the emergent worry that it seemed they were making it out to be, but we wondered nevertheless. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">He had a CT scheduled and they said they would set him up in IR after 5 p.m. if that was a necessary procedure. The day loomed long thinking in those terms.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Around 3:15 I got word from my guys that they were leaving the hospital and that everything was GOOD! More than good, actually. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The doctor said the CT showed that all of the collection areas of infection had collapsed and were NO MORE!!! Remember <a href="http://www.lifechurch.tv/watch/dont-stop/">"don't stop on 6</a>"? Well, those walls have come tumbling down!!!!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">On top of that, he said that it was a miracle that Adam didn't get some other condition which I can't recall the name of now. But for THAT doctor to call something a miracle is, well, kind of a miracle! He then went on to say that NEXT WEEK Adam will get all of his drains removed (unless one needs to stay--we'll pray) and they will put a stent into his bile duct and fix that for good. The numbers being wonky was merely an immunosuppresant drug adjustment that we are fixing with a simple change of dosage.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I cannot describe to you the feeling of knowing that we will be done with this in one week. It is like tons of weight off of our shoulders. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">God is so good. He would still be good if none of this was happening, but He is so, so good for bringing us to where we are today. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I cannot say enough thanks to all of you who are continuing to pray for Adam and for us. This is still a journey we are on for a time as he strives to gain weight and strength to be able to go back to work. We are so thankful to God and to God's people who are praying for us!!!!!!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The procedure to do all of these things will take place next Wednesday and they said it will be a 3-4 hour surgery. Please uphold us and carry us to Jesus once again.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Praise be to God for His wonderful mercy!</span><br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54488/214/2EBC7D6C3CC4D29737129E6D5BEA1FF4.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Lindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14642701364961233975noreply@blogger.com0