Someone that I don't know posted about a political statement on a friend's social networking page. My friend and I have similar politics but he has friends that don't share those same beliefs. Normally, I don't like to get involved in online arguments. I am NOT confrontational at all. And I wasn't trying to confront anyone. But I couldn't let the truth of my life just sit in silence.
So I posted something after fighting not to for a long time. And it caused some unpleasant conversation, which I regret.
Some might think it was scandalous of me to expose that I was a child of rape, but it is what it is.
I've shared my story at my church so it is not like it is a big secret.
My birthmom was abused for many years as a child by someone from whom she could not escape. At age 16 she got pregnant. There is so much more detail that I will not share here but suffice it to say that most people would feel that she qualified for an abortion under our current laws.
That being said, as much as she hated what had happened to her, she did not want to punish me for someone else's crime.
I was adopted by some amazing people in a story that is book worthy (in my humble opinion) but only because of God's great grace.
Sixteen years ago, by another great gift from God, I was able to meet and become friends with the woman who birthed me. So much has transpired between then and now in both of our lives but I know that we both feel that it was a positive experience in both of our lives for us to meet.
At the time we met P still held an understandable hate for the man who had violated her so many years before. She also struggled with hating herself for what she felt was giving away her only daughter.
I had long wondered if I had been truly loved or just was thought of as a "mistake" by my birthparents. I certainly wasn't looking for a new mom and dad because I had those already. But I got something else. And I know for a fact that P was needing something as well. And she got it, too.
It was healing.
For me it was knowing that the woman that gave me life LOVED me and always had wanted to know me. For her, it was knowing that I had never hated her and that indeed I had always respected and loved her for giving me life.
And then something amazing happened.
I got to introduce P to the One who had cared for me even as I was being knit together in her teenage womb. The One who placed a nurse in the hospital where I was born who prayed for me to be placed in a Christian home. The One who did indeed do that in the very church where that nurse had grown up.
And you know what? The same woman who could not even SPEAK the name of her abuser to me when we first met gave her heart and life to that same Jesus.
Within a short time of our meeting P started to send me information about my paternal ancestors. She wanted me to know where I came from and what they looked like. She spoke "the name" and found that it no longer held the evil power over her that it once had held. Grace and forgiveness replaced all that hate and resentment.
All these years later we are still so grateful for being able to be friends and sisters in Christ. And I think I speak for both of us when I say that what was meant for evil, God meant for good.
He's kind of in the business of doing that;
New Living Translation (NLT)
20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.