Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Not Knowing Where to Begin

I walked into my home late this morning and quite frankly, I didn't know where to begin. 

Should I clean the sink, put away dishes, wash my bedding, put away groceries, open windows, turn off the heat (!), vacuum, empty my suitcase, pick out songs for Sunday's church service,  take a nap, or eat lunch?  

That makes me sound so overwrought and I'm really not.  I just didn't know quite where to start.  In reality, I was truly just wondering how Adam was doing, who his nurse is today and hoping he wouldn't get the crud that I seemed to have picked up somewhere along the way.  Yesterday I spent the day wearing a mask so as to not infect him with whatever I am brewing up inside my body.  When I texted him part way home and asked Adam how he was doing today, his reply was :  "SOLID".  That's my boy!

With hesitation I will say here that the doctors are tentatively saying that he may come home a week from tomorrow.  That means that before I go back to stay with him next week I will need to get my home sanitized and clean.  Maybe tomorrow.  Truly, that news is wonderful and daunting all at the same time.

 I just keep wondering how our next several months are going to go while he is healing up in preparation for surgery. What will his life be like?  How will he manage to go to work (once he's feeling up to it) with all those blasted drains coming out of him.  He's lost 40 pounds.  What clothes will fit his thinner body and yet cover the drains?  How long will it take him to get some strength back and feel like he doesn't need someone to be with him if we need to go somewhere?  I'm sure those questions tumble through his mind when he's not sleeping or not truly himself because of all the pain medicine and antibiotics he takes. 

I'm looking forward to getting some flowers planted sometime, but it honestly blows my mind that in two days it will be May 2015.  It almost feels like we've been in a coma since February 13th and just woke up.  And while I was in that coma I magically gained a bunch of weight!

My teenage daughter has spent almost this entire semester of school either living with people other than her family or without one of her parents at home.  It feels like a semester lost in a crevice somewhere.  I hope she's doing well in school because, honestly, I really don't know.

If you are praying for us, please consider praying for all the concerns in this post for Adam.  He doesn't complain at all but I know these things weigh heavy on his mind and heart. 

After next week, I'm hoping to get to know my other kids again, putz around the house while I put all of the medical knowledge of the past 3 months to use, while intermittently enjoying the end of the school year and the beginning of summer.

Nothing profound to say today.  Just thankful for the simple things of life and for Adam doing a little better day to day.

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