I try to be an encouragement to others by showing how I have been encouraged. When I first started to blog I thought that it was something rare. A friend from my teens and on is an awesome writer and blogger. I only wanted to have a forum to write and she encouraged me to blog as a means to that end.
Now I realize that just about everyone in the modern world blogs for one reason or another. So why would anyone want to read what I write? I'm not sure. Quite honestly, I'm not sure who is reading this. I mean, I look at the stats but that doesn't tell me who as much as where. It doesn't tell me why as much as what referring website. So what makes me think that anyone would want to read the things I write down on my computer and post online? I don't honestly know. So, in order to clarify my own thoughts, I decided I would write down some things about who I am:
- I am a daughter.
In this scenario I am a middle child who only wants to please everyone and not make anyone mad at me. Following the rules has always been important to me and it is really hard for me to go against what I know or believe to be right. Not because I am better than anyone else, but just because that is who I am.
My aim to please gets me in trouble and relationships have been hard for me because I so want people to like me. But I tend to be too loud or distracted and sometimes don't think before I speak. I've always wanted desperately for my older brother to protect me and my younger sister to look up to me, but I rarely was deserving of it. Too often I feared what I couldn't understand and was jealous of what I imagined to be valued more than me.
- I am a Child of God
My walk with Jesus has had its ups and downs because of my fear and my lack of trust. Through it all, He has been my greatest joy and the one perfect thing that I wish to pass along to my children.
- I am a wife.
- I am a mom.
- I live with a chronic disease.
- I love beautiful things.
- Words matter to me.
I feel things very deeply and words go to my very core. If I hear a foul word spoken by someone I love, it hurts me. Harsh words undo me. Kind words make me glow. I tend to use words as weapons because I feel them so incredibly powerful when directed at me that I imagine them to have power to protect me as well.
So I guess that is why I blog. Words define me, not just in the sense of the obvious. They are sewn into my soul and sometimes they have to come out and be shared.
Thanks for reading my words. Please let me know if you enjoy them!