My youngest was wanting me to "curl her hair" for school today and I did not meet her expectations. Her hair is cut in an adorable cut that makes it look cute with just a little blow drying. Most school days she doesn't even want me to do that. She just washes it and lets it dry through the morning.
But for some reason (I think her friend told her she would curl her hair at her sleepover next week) she wanted me to curl it today.
Problem: Anna has straight hair. It is cut into a cute little bob which it flows into naturally thanks to Christy the miracle stylist. Apparently, she wanted big, banana curls like PollyAnna or something. This was IMPOSSIBLE for me to achieve mostly because her hair just WON'T do that and partly because I am disabled at doing hair. Always have been. And then there was the fact that the bus would be arriving in about 15 minutes.
So she got really angry at me and threw a fit and a shoe, said she wasn't going to school and then disappeared somewhere in the house.
I tried to be as calm as possible and pretend it didn't affect me that she was making threats.
Earlier this week I read a great book that was mentioned on the blog of a young mom from my church. Her friend's picture was on the front of the book and that was her reason for talking about it. But it was a book that I NEEDED to read so I quickly ordered it from Amazon and read it.
It let me know that my daughter's issues are much more complex than I realized but also that there are people who know what they are all about.
I'm not sure I can deal with all of these things by myself but maybe with the book, God's help, and possibly a good counselor we can sort them out.
This is why blogging is sort of like the old fashioned quilting bee. It lets me brainstorm with people I don't live near or maybe don't even know.
Quilt on, my bloggy friends!
Maybe if she wants her hair curled you could put them in those little pink sponge curlers the night before and let her sleep on them. My girls love to get their hair curled like that.
ReplyDeleteYou are a very strong woman and God only gives us what he knows we can handle.
I very vividly remember behaving that way toward my mom on a school morning. I was crying and yelling, telling her that she was doing my hair all wrong. I will never forget what my mom did next. She dropped the hairbrush in front of me and told me that I was responsible for my own hair from now on. She kept her word and my poor hair endured a rough time as I learned to do it myself. We never had "hair drama" again. I would have to say though, that now I consider myself pretty good at doing hair and enjoy doing mine and my girls. My mom keeps telling me that paybacks are on their way. I pray not! LOL
ReplyDeleteThanks for the kind comments,friends.
ReplyDeleteTara, that is basically what I tell her when I disappoint her.
But I am not dealing with a typical attitude here. My child was dealt a huge disadvantage by her birthmother with either alcohol or drugs prenatally. On top of that she was "raised" her first 3 years of life in a Russian orphanage which apparently caused her a lot of attachment issues.
So. Not just "teenage attitude" I'm dealing with here. I have a very wounded child mentally and emotionally and I'm doing the best I can but some days that is just not easy.
Hang in there, my friend. I have no words of advice (I was never good at hair either), just know that we're all with you. I do love the support of blog-land!
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